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First We Have Coffee
Margaret’s warm stories of life as the daughter of a Scandinavian pastor in Canada touches readers’ hearts with timeless lessons of unwavering faith and family love.
204 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1982
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
October 7, 2015
The author, born in 1917, shares memories of growing up in the household of her intellectual minister father and her more-than-capable Norwegian immigrant mother. Every chapter is loaded with heart and in each is a life lesson that is timeless. I mean, I felt like I was sitting at the knee of a woman with as much faith and inclusive love as Corrie ten Boom! This amazing woman would have been a contemporary of my grandmothers, for whom I also have huge admiration and gratitude. This is the kind of womanhood we need to replicate today. For this reason I feel that this is a MUST READ for any woman who is at the helm of a household.
I took a peek at some of the other "reviews" of this book and would like to add some thoughts about the emotionally distant father. It seems that today's take on yesterday's parenting is more along the lines of, "Hey, get with the program. Get over yourself already. Be chummy, even if you are clueless as to how to be playful or engaged."
My father was also emotionally distant, intellectual, and a bit apart from family life. I remember wishing at times that he were more fun. However, I came to appreciate him immensely when I became an adult. Looking back I can see that he WAS involved with us in very important ways and that he managed to make being a father a high priority. Things are not always as they appear.
The author shares a watershed moment in her parent's marriage which she learned about when her mother was very old. There was an incident that made her mother contemplate leaving her husband. Just as this was about to happen she heard a sermon on forgiveness from a visiting pastor which helped her reconsider her decision. I think that part of the strength of this memoir is including the challenges faced.
I took a peek at some of the other "reviews" of this book and would like to add some thoughts about the emotionally distant father. It seems that today's take on yesterday's parenting is more along the lines of, "Hey, get with the program. Get over yourself already. Be chummy, even if you are clueless as to how to be playful or engaged."
My father was also emotionally distant, intellectual, and a bit apart from family life. I remember wishing at times that he were more fun. However, I came to appreciate him immensely when I became an adult. Looking back I can see that he WAS involved with us in very important ways and that he managed to make being a father a high priority. Things are not always as they appear.
The author shares a watershed moment in her parent's marriage which she learned about when her mother was very old. There was an incident that made her mother contemplate leaving her husband. Just as this was about to happen she heard a sermon on forgiveness from a visiting pastor which helped her reconsider her decision. I think that part of the strength of this memoir is including the challenges faced.
February 12, 2015
10+ stars.
I had SUCH an emotional response to this book. This book tells mainly about the author's Norwegian mother who was a pastor's wife, serving in so many different ways. This woman is truly an inspiration in the way she raised her family, in the way she reached out to bless all those in her path and community, in her home-keeping and most importantly in her deep faith in the Lord. Sometimes life doesn't bless us with an in-real-life Titus 2 mentor - and if that is true for you, as it is for me, then you will want to read this book so that Mama Twten's courage and unshakeable faith can mentor you through the words of her daughter Margaret. Truly a gem.
I have taken pages of notes already and I'm a little upset that this is a library book, and I can't write the dates of my notes in the margins. I've located a second-hand copy that is on its way to me.
I had SUCH an emotional response to this book. This book tells mainly about the author's Norwegian mother who was a pastor's wife, serving in so many different ways. This woman is truly an inspiration in the way she raised her family, in the way she reached out to bless all those in her path and community, in her home-keeping and most importantly in her deep faith in the Lord. Sometimes life doesn't bless us with an in-real-life Titus 2 mentor - and if that is true for you, as it is for me, then you will want to read this book so that Mama Twten's courage and unshakeable faith can mentor you through the words of her daughter Margaret. Truly a gem.
I have taken pages of notes already and I'm a little upset that this is a library book, and I can't write the dates of my notes in the margins. I've located a second-hand copy that is on its way to me.
March 5, 2017
One of the sweetest and most awesome inspirational autobiography I have ever read!
May 7, 2016
This collection of heart-warming family stories about an incredible Christian Norwegian-American woman held plenty of life lessons about trusting God and loving others. It was told in an informal, rather disjointed style, which makes it like you're reading your own family's memories about a revered relative. I find that to be charming if I know the person, but in books I prefer more of a story arc. However, I'm certainly glad I read it.
February 19, 2024
Mama Tweten was the hands and feet of Jesus, preaching the Gospel through unadorned hospitality and pure love. In obedience to God and love for the ministry, she opened wide her door and welcomed people in. Her hospitality had a way of healing and countless lives were changed.
These stories testify to her quiet strength and unshakeable faith in God. Mama Tweten really, truly lived what she believed, and you will be better for knowing her journey. It’s the kind of heart-warming, convicting book you want to read sitting at the kitchen table with, you guessed it, endless cups of coffee.
These stories testify to her quiet strength and unshakeable faith in God. Mama Tweten really, truly lived what she believed, and you will be better for knowing her journey. It’s the kind of heart-warming, convicting book you want to read sitting at the kitchen table with, you guessed it, endless cups of coffee.
April 11, 2023
Have you ever heard of Elvine Tweten? Well neither I had either, until I read this book, and yet she seems to me a hero of the faith just as much as many others whose names are better known. I was so inspired by Margaret Jensen’s memoirs of her parents, but particularly her mother’s (Elvine’s) steadfast faith, and loving service. That her six children rise up and call her blessed is the best testimony I can imagine, and the legacy that I too hope to leave behind. This was the perfect book to finish on Easter Sunday, and I left feeling that I am a better person for knowing Mrs. Tweten even this much.
July 9, 2013
One of my all-time favorites; it has been on my nightstand for nearly 30 years. The story of Margaret Jensen's Norwegian mother and how she raised a family while married to an itinerant Baptist preacher. It's a book about a mother who raised children with daily routines and a Bible. A strong woman with a steadfast faith, she tended to the needs of the congregation or any other passerby with a problem, with coffee first. Coffee, the symbol of hospitality, comfort, routine, she was the practical counselor, doling out her wisdom and practical advice over a cup of coffee. Hers was a life well-lived. As a young mother when it was published, I was very inspired and "advised" by her in raising my own children. Later, I found out the author's son, R. Judson Carlberg was the president of my college from 1992-2011. What a small world.
August 13, 2023
A sweet, humorous and inspiring tribute to the author's mother -- a woman of great faith, humble service, loyal devotion, and endless coffee.
I knocked off a star because the dad is problematic.
I knocked off a star because the dad is problematic.
July 6, 2017
This book. It is just so amazing. The way God moved through Margaret's family is just so encouraging and inspiring. I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone! A must read and a great read aloud. Just. So. Amazing. That's all I can say.
February 14, 2022
This was very sweet. The first half or so held together better because it was a sustained narrative. Then things got episodic and choppy. I wish a good editor had been there to push it into becoming a better book. So...not great writing, but encouraging stories of trusting a faithful God. Here are a few quotes I flagged:
"Papa's call was to preach. [Mama's] call was to make her family a home in this wilderness." (p. 17)
"Ben you have heart room, you have house room." (p. 26)
"As Mama ironed, she taught. Her methods were simple: endless songs and stories and Bible verses for us to memorize. I sat enthralled, watching, and waiting for the day I could iron the dish towels, then the starched pillowcases, and then graduate to Papa's white handkerchiefs, which had to be perfectly folded." (p. 38)
"Papa then left to visit the widows and orphans, but not without a word of caution from Mama about the widows." (p. 39)
"Mama never wavered." (p. 50)
(Then I was hurrying to finish the book and didn't stop to flag anything else.)
It drives me nuts that in the repeated pattern on the cover background, one coffee cup is missing. How has no one ever missed that and fixed it?
"Papa's call was to preach. [Mama's] call was to make her family a home in this wilderness." (p. 17)
"Ben you have heart room, you have house room." (p. 26)
"As Mama ironed, she taught. Her methods were simple: endless songs and stories and Bible verses for us to memorize. I sat enthralled, watching, and waiting for the day I could iron the dish towels, then the starched pillowcases, and then graduate to Papa's white handkerchiefs, which had to be perfectly folded." (p. 38)
"Papa then left to visit the widows and orphans, but not without a word of caution from Mama about the widows." (p. 39)
"Mama never wavered." (p. 50)
(Then I was hurrying to finish the book and didn't stop to flag anything else.)
It drives me nuts that in the repeated pattern on the cover background, one coffee cup is missing. How has no one ever missed that and fixed it?
January 13, 2020
I read this through yesterday afternoon and evening and really enjoyed it. Many times throughout I felt convicted and challenged to live a more intentional, people-focused life. To love more deeply and forgive more freely. Every story was meaningful and there was no rambling. I usually avoid short story compilations but this one surprised and fully blessed me!
I loved the chapter called Tests. This family experienced so many awesome miracles. I found myself stopping to pray that God would do similar things in my own life. Do I have that much faith? Or time? I must be intentional.
I could relate to Mama in the story, The Touch. Most of the time, God chooses to give me immunity, strength and/or healing, rather than rest or days of care by others. This is a time in my life when I am needed to care for my family so the actual rest days are precious and few.
My favorite quote from the book was, "When you have heart room you have house room." I'm not super great at offering hospitality. I must be intentional.
I loved the chapter called Tests. This family experienced so many awesome miracles. I found myself stopping to pray that God would do similar things in my own life. Do I have that much faith? Or time? I must be intentional.
I could relate to Mama in the story, The Touch. Most of the time, God chooses to give me immunity, strength and/or healing, rather than rest or days of care by others. This is a time in my life when I am needed to care for my family so the actual rest days are precious and few.
My favorite quote from the book was, "When you have heart room you have house room." I'm not super great at offering hospitality. I must be intentional.
February 19, 2023
This book was a balm to my soul. A beautiful tribute from a daughter to her mother. As a preacher’s daughter and a preacher’s wife, I related to a lot of her experiences. My husband’s side of the family has Norwegian roots, so I also enjoyed the stories of growing up in a Norwegian family.
Almost every chapter brought me to tears. There is so much wisdom contained in this book. It’s a wonderful example of a mother who gave her life to her children, made a home, trusted God in everything. I found a mentor in these pages, and I’m sure I will return to them again and again.
Almost every chapter brought me to tears. There is so much wisdom contained in this book. It’s a wonderful example of a mother who gave her life to her children, made a home, trusted God in everything. I found a mentor in these pages, and I’m sure I will return to them again and again.
April 8, 2020
Sweet, folksy memoir about Baptist Norwegian immigrants that I picked up at my husband's grandmother's house. Reminded me of my own Norwegian grandparents, even though they were quite different and immigrated over seventy years later.
July 2, 2023
The stories about Margaret's mother were sweet. She always works hard, takes care of her family, and is kind and forgiving. She is someone we should all strive to be more like.
However, where this book fell apart for me was the stories about her father. I dislike him immensely. Margaret always makes excuses for him and never speaks poorly of him, but nothing he did made me a fan. In every story, he is distant, unhelpful, and full of himself. His family and wife come second to his library.
He packed up his family and moved them away from their home, where they were happy so that he could be near libraries again. He claimed that the move was the will of God. However, I have a hard time believing that God would will a family to be put in a stressful situation like that, and I believe the husband was using "the will of god" as his excuse to guilt his wife into doing what he wanted.
When his family struggled with food insecurity, he spent his paycheck on jewelry for his wife. Instead of caring for his family's basic needs, he had his head in the clouds, completely oblivious to what his family was struggling with!
After all those stories, I felt the moral was just to be a better wife, curb your anger, and be obedient.
I agree with being respectful toward your spouse. However, that respect needs to flow both ways, and I did not see that in these stories.
If this were written more as a memoir, just a "here's what happened in my life," I would have enjoyed it more. The way we're not allowed to judge her dad or learn from his mistakes ruined the book for me.
However, where this book fell apart for me was the stories about her father. I dislike him immensely. Margaret always makes excuses for him and never speaks poorly of him, but nothing he did made me a fan. In every story, he is distant, unhelpful, and full of himself. His family and wife come second to his library.
He packed up his family and moved them away from their home, where they were happy so that he could be near libraries again. He claimed that the move was the will of God. However, I have a hard time believing that God would will a family to be put in a stressful situation like that, and I believe the husband was using "the will of god" as his excuse to guilt his wife into doing what he wanted.
When his family struggled with food insecurity, he spent his paycheck on jewelry for his wife. Instead of caring for his family's basic needs, he had his head in the clouds, completely oblivious to what his family was struggling with!
After all those stories, I felt the moral was just to be a better wife, curb your anger, and be obedient.
I agree with being respectful toward your spouse. However, that respect needs to flow both ways, and I did not see that in these stories.
If this were written more as a memoir, just a "here's what happened in my life," I would have enjoyed it more. The way we're not allowed to judge her dad or learn from his mistakes ruined the book for me.
November 10, 2018
My dear sister-in-law recommended this book to me, and I must say that I am forever grateful that she did! What an amazing, heartwarming account of the author’s mother, Elvine Tweten! Her life was a living testimony to the God she served so faithfully. She was the wife of a pastor who preached tirelessly to the Scandinavian immigrants in both Canada and the United States for 68 years. “Mama” had such a loving, approachable spirit and she spent her life ministering to all who were sent her way, from neighbors to orphans to perfect strangers. She also left a legacy of faith to her 6 children, who in turn, passed it on to their children. Mama Tweten “walked a road of simple obedience to God’s ways,” and her love of her Lord and Savior permeated all she did. This is a book that I plan to reread. I highly recommend it!
May 17, 2021
I purchased this book after reading a glowing review. The author is a storyteller and published author and the contents of this small book give the reader short glimpses of life in her Norwegian home. Her father was a preacher who heard the "call" several places and each place presented challenges and rewards that are documented in the book. Her mother was the bedrock of the family holding together five children in less than easy circumstances.
Margaret's warm stories of life as the daughter of a Scandinavian pastor in Canada touches readers' hearts with timeless lessons of unwavering faith and family love.
Margaret's warm stories of life as the daughter of a Scandinavian pastor in Canada touches readers' hearts with timeless lessons of unwavering faith and family love.
December 12, 2016
As someone who specializes in reading memoirs of dysfunctional families and unpleasant childhoods [1], I am often struck by elements that make a book distinctive. This book had a very distinctive set of elements that is worth pointing out, at least. For one, the childhood experiences of the author were unpleasant for different reasons than normal. She wasn't abused as a child and her parents stayed married, although her mother came from a broken household and that added to elements of brokenness in the family as a whole. Also, her father was remote and emotionally distant, being focused on books and not so much on people. Both of the author's parents were first generation Norwegian immigrants, and the author's father happened to be a pastor who heard the call or was voted out by the members, and had to move from place to place because of his work in the ministry. So, if you want to read about how growing up in a poor and somewhat overly full household of preacher's kids makes one have a dysfunctional childhood, and that is quite honestly something I am willing to do, this is a good book for you to read. The book was written in the late 1970's, probably at the beginning of the trend towards writing memoirs about unpleasant childhoods, and it manages to be both honest and written with a great deal of love and kindness, especially for the author's mother.
The book itself consists of fairly short and slightly connected stories in a generally chronological order that extend from the childhood of the author's mother to the death of the author's mother in old age from a failing heart. These stories take up a little less than 200 pages of writing, and are filled with odd touches, like poems, quotations of familiar Christian songs, and passages about the Bible. The author manages to strike an odd balance between being unsentimental and being deeply sentimental in some pointed quotations [2]. The stories themselves mix comedy with loss, including death, homelessness, poverty, and a lack of parental love and care. It is easy to see in ourselves the sort of wounded people who wound others--the author's father is shown as being emotionally distant and very strict, and far more caring towards his books than his own children, a reminder of how it would be easy for someone who was emotionally reserved and restrained to be viewed in a negative light. Many of the stories are tied together by the author's mother's insistence that before discussing anything too serious or unpleasant, first we have coffee.
There are a lot of insights that can be gained from a book like this. For one, this book gives a vivid impression of the importance of ethnic communities and in people like ministers and those who run orphanages like the author's father and mother, respectively, in helping to keep a community together. The author's family is full of love and more than a little bit of mischief, and also struggles to communicate and get along even as each family member manages to find a niche that allows them to care for others and show a sense of dignity and pride. Given the way that serving in the ministry is often associated as being a position of considerable wealth and power, this book is a reminder that in not all cases is this so. The author does not remember or picture her father as a golf-playing resident of a country club as is the manner of some ministers, but rather as a man struggling with the finer points of the English language but someone who loves old books and has too many kids that he did not know how to relate to. It is yet another type of brokenness I can understand in my own awkward way.
[1] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2013...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
[2] See, for example:
"Heeding Mama's admonition to "settle down with a good wife," Barney finally married a comfortable friend, Mildred, who was solid, faithful, and strong and became his harbor in the storms of life (32)."
"When someone brings us a frightened, wilted, hurt child, I hear my Susie say, 'Love it back to life, Mother!' So many human relationships can be loved back to life. For me, the most rewarding are those with a child, who has been wilted and abandoned in a broken flower pot or home (122)."
"The text this morning is found in Mark 11:25: "When ye stand praying, forgive." Forgiveness is not optional, but a command. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but an act of faith, a definite act of the will to forgive, in obedience to God's command. The feeling comes later, the feeling of peace. When we offer to God our hurts and despair, God will pour his love and compassion into the wounds and His healing will come (131)."
The book itself consists of fairly short and slightly connected stories in a generally chronological order that extend from the childhood of the author's mother to the death of the author's mother in old age from a failing heart. These stories take up a little less than 200 pages of writing, and are filled with odd touches, like poems, quotations of familiar Christian songs, and passages about the Bible. The author manages to strike an odd balance between being unsentimental and being deeply sentimental in some pointed quotations [2]. The stories themselves mix comedy with loss, including death, homelessness, poverty, and a lack of parental love and care. It is easy to see in ourselves the sort of wounded people who wound others--the author's father is shown as being emotionally distant and very strict, and far more caring towards his books than his own children, a reminder of how it would be easy for someone who was emotionally reserved and restrained to be viewed in a negative light. Many of the stories are tied together by the author's mother's insistence that before discussing anything too serious or unpleasant, first we have coffee.
There are a lot of insights that can be gained from a book like this. For one, this book gives a vivid impression of the importance of ethnic communities and in people like ministers and those who run orphanages like the author's father and mother, respectively, in helping to keep a community together. The author's family is full of love and more than a little bit of mischief, and also struggles to communicate and get along even as each family member manages to find a niche that allows them to care for others and show a sense of dignity and pride. Given the way that serving in the ministry is often associated as being a position of considerable wealth and power, this book is a reminder that in not all cases is this so. The author does not remember or picture her father as a golf-playing resident of a country club as is the manner of some ministers, but rather as a man struggling with the finer points of the English language but someone who loves old books and has too many kids that he did not know how to relate to. It is yet another type of brokenness I can understand in my own awkward way.
[1] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2013...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016...
[2] See, for example:
"Heeding Mama's admonition to "settle down with a good wife," Barney finally married a comfortable friend, Mildred, who was solid, faithful, and strong and became his harbor in the storms of life (32)."
"When someone brings us a frightened, wilted, hurt child, I hear my Susie say, 'Love it back to life, Mother!' So many human relationships can be loved back to life. For me, the most rewarding are those with a child, who has been wilted and abandoned in a broken flower pot or home (122)."
"The text this morning is found in Mark 11:25: "When ye stand praying, forgive." Forgiveness is not optional, but a command. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but an act of faith, a definite act of the will to forgive, in obedience to God's command. The feeling comes later, the feeling of peace. When we offer to God our hurts and despair, God will pour his love and compassion into the wounds and His healing will come (131)."
September 30, 2017
Warm stories of growing up in a pastor's home in Canada. I particularly liked the mother who "threw her apron over her head" when she needed a refuge. The father's preaching involved "golden oratory about the glories of the old country (Scandanavia), always adding a stern admonition to bring honor to the new land."
July 1, 2019
One of my favorite reads...a beautiful story of a Norwegian family that came to America and served God and family. Brought memories back of my grandparents and times in the old Norwegian church and the string band. :) Brought tears to my eyes as I became a part of this family. i hope my girls will someday read this book.
January 10, 2024
It’s one of those books, despite its simplicity, that leaves you mourning someone who died before you were born and homesick for a place only called “home” by ancestors a century ago. It convicts you of God’s high calling in motherhood and gives hope and motivation to provide your own children with the intimate knowledge God’s word.
October 31, 2020
This is a lovely tribute to the author's precious mother. It is not the most eloquently written award winning type of book but it is a quiet memoir of a life of deep faith in Christ. It was a sweet story that made me want to live my life more faithfully.
July 19, 2021
3.5/5
A very cozy read and sweet collection of testimonies about this Norwegian family's faith. It was a nice break from really heavy literature, but wasn't as rich as I personally prefer. Might reread in the future!
A very cozy read and sweet collection of testimonies about this Norwegian family's faith. It was a nice break from really heavy literature, but wasn't as rich as I personally prefer. Might reread in the future!
August 27, 2021
A very sweet story by a daughter, following the life of her Norwegian immigrant mother. Seen from her eyes, it limits the story sometimes but is still a true description of what immigrant life entailed and how families survived the early 1900s in Canada and America.
February 24, 2022
This was a very inspiring read. I had to order more from the late Margaret Jensen. I have several to put onto the To Read list and share here.
It's like the movie I Remember Mama...except better. Highly recommend this Christian author.
It's like the movie I Remember Mama...except better. Highly recommend this Christian author.
June 15, 2017
I was so glad to read something about Norwegian heritage and immigrant history! Interesting and heartwarming memoir.
July 5, 2018
really good read
January 12, 2020
Immigrants come to this country with many stories! How wonderful when the family is one united by love and faith. This is a lovely book for both young and old!
June 29, 2020
"It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto Thy name O, most High: to show forth Thy loving-kindness in the morning, and Thy faithfulness every night."
August 4, 2021
It's a classic in our family. We love it!
March 1, 2022
It’s not more than it claims and it’s not less. It’s many stories centered around the authors childhood and her mother. These stories are simple with sweet messages.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews