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Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother
Carolyn Mahaney identifies with the challenges facing women in today's world and meets them with the guidance of God's Word. The feminine virtues described in Titus 2 have transformed her life and the lives of countless other women. This book will show you the appeal of being a woman who lives for God and helps others do the same.
192 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2003
About the author
Carolyn Mahaney
22 books45 followersCarolyn Mahaney is a wife, mother, and homemaker. Having spent over thirty years as a pastor's wife, Carolyn has spoken to women in many churches and conferences. She is the author of Feminine Appeal, Girl Talk, Shopping for Time and True Beauty. She blogs with her daughters at www girltalkhome com, a blog focused on biblical womanhood. Carolyn and her husband, C. J., are the parents of three married daughters and one son, and the happy grandparents to twelve grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 180 reviews
March 22, 2011
Note to self: do not ever attempt to read books about being a "Christian woman" with budding roses on the cover. For real.
Ugh! This book was pretty bad. I understand where the author is coming from - really, I do. I'm an evangelical Christian who agrees that the Bible sets standards for men & women, and I also really like the passage in Titus 2 that this book is based on.
There are lots of examples of harmful application in this book, but here's two:
- In the section about older women mentoring younger women, she tells a story about when she was a mother with a baby & toddler. Her mom came to visit & instructed her on letting the baby cry it out. The author is so happy that her mom taught her this and then goes into telling older women to go tell younger women what to do with their babies. No. No. No. NO. NO.
- There's another whole part about women who say they are night people are lazy and selfish. I can't even make this stuff up... here's a quote:
"I have heard of some women who pride themselves on being "night people." That means they have trouble getting up in the morning because they come alive at night. They may stay up till all hours reading, watching television, or pursuing some sort of interest. The next morning they are too tired to get up and care for their family.... These women are not "night people." They are lazy and selfish. Who would not rather stay up late to do whatever they please and sleep late the next day?
Once a young wife begins getting up earlier than her children and her husband, she will cease to be a "night person." She will be tired at night and go to bed at a reasonable hour so she will be there to serve her family the next morning."
Yeah. I'm honestly surprised by all the positive reviews of this book. It makes me sad to see that Christian women would try to apply the Gospel & God's good word to us in some of these destructive ways.
Ugh! This book was pretty bad. I understand where the author is coming from - really, I do. I'm an evangelical Christian who agrees that the Bible sets standards for men & women, and I also really like the passage in Titus 2 that this book is based on.
There are lots of examples of harmful application in this book, but here's two:
- In the section about older women mentoring younger women, she tells a story about when she was a mother with a baby & toddler. Her mom came to visit & instructed her on letting the baby cry it out. The author is so happy that her mom taught her this and then goes into telling older women to go tell younger women what to do with their babies. No. No. No. NO. NO.
- There's another whole part about women who say they are night people are lazy and selfish. I can't even make this stuff up... here's a quote:
"I have heard of some women who pride themselves on being "night people." That means they have trouble getting up in the morning because they come alive at night. They may stay up till all hours reading, watching television, or pursuing some sort of interest. The next morning they are too tired to get up and care for their family.... These women are not "night people." They are lazy and selfish. Who would not rather stay up late to do whatever they please and sleep late the next day?
Once a young wife begins getting up earlier than her children and her husband, she will cease to be a "night person." She will be tired at night and go to bed at a reasonable hour so she will be there to serve her family the next morning."
Yeah. I'm honestly surprised by all the positive reviews of this book. It makes me sad to see that Christian women would try to apply the Gospel & God's good word to us in some of these destructive ways.
September 27, 2019
Feminine Appeal is a refreshing, little Christian Living book that I feel is overlooked! In a world where true femininity is fading, and being a homemaker, wife, and mother is scoffed at, Carolyn Mahaney encourages us to take another look at our unique design as women. What did God create us specially for, and how can this impact the world? Are we embracing this gift ... the gift of feminine appeal?
Consider the loveliness of a woman who passionately adores her husband, who tenderly cherishes her children, who creates a warm and peaceful home, who exemplifies purity, self-control, and kindness in her character and who gladly submits to her husband's leadership - for all the days God grants her life. I dare say there are few things that display the gospel jewel with greater elegance. This is true feminine appeal. ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
Truly, reading this book reinforced my passion for Christ-like marriages and godly homes. My heart was swelling with such excitement and joy at the thought of being a homemaker someday and creating a warm home where Christ is exalted. Of being a wife and helpmeet to one of God's adopted sons - to support him and encourage him in whatever God is calling him ... us ... to do. Of raising children together to know the love of their Creator and serve Him all their days.
Both husbands and wives will become more Christ-like by having to deal with each other's sins and deficiencies. We must settle this issue in our hearts. We married a sinner, and so did they. But this is the hope for our marriage: God forgives sinners and helps us grow to be like Him. ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
Remember that we vowed in our wedding ceremony "to love and to cherish till death do us part"? Do we even understand what we promised to do? To cherish means to hold dear, to care for tenderly or to nurture, to cling fondly to, or treat as precious. ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
This world is lacking homes. True, beautiful homes where Jesus Christ is adored and family is cherished and strangers loved on. I honestly believe that the breakdown of the family and godly home is what is leading to so much destruction in America. Think of the impact that we, as women, could have on society - on people's souls - if we took our femininity and its roles more seriously. We have the unique ability and responsibility to be homemakers and wives and mothers. For the sake of the Gospel. For the glory of God.
Dawson Trotman, founder of the group called the Navigators, once said: "I believe with all my heart that one of the greatest soul saving stations in the world is the home." And I love what one person observed about Dr. Francis Schaeffer's wife, Edith: "As many people were brought to the Lord through Mrs. Schaeffer's cinnamon buns as through Dr. Schaeffer's sermons!" ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
What an extraordinary thought - that we can create a home where it is "impossible to keep from thinking of God". ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
Feminine Appeal is based on the teachings in Titus 2, and addresses loving one's husband and children, self-control, purity, intimacy, homemaking, kindness, submission, and more. This might sound like an old-fashioned, outdated book to you, but I think you'd be surprised. God's design never goes out of style ... In fact, it is forever good and even delightful! What do you have to lose by giving this book a try? We can see that the culture's way of womanhood doesn't seem to be garnering that great of results.
Some points of this book might really challenge you ... even feel revolting to you. But should women's ministry be all about feel-good chats, inspirational quotes, and never feeling guilty? Since when have Christian women become the ones who can never be rebuked or corrected? We are in the wrong sometimes - many times(!) - and we need to repent and seek God's face. Lord, teach me how to be a woman!
The specific instruction in Titus 2 is for wives to be "submissive to their own husbands." This word submission in the Greek means to "voluntarily place oneself under." ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
The definition of the Greek word for "respect" means "to be in awe of, to revere, or to treat as someone special." Is that how we act toward our husbands? Do we respect them with our words, tone of voice, countenance, and body language? ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
This book is easy to follow, and definitely worth the read! As I mentioned above, it ignited my passion and desire anew for homemaking, marriage, and motherhood. After finishing it, I wanted to get a copy for my mom and other dear wives & mothers who I know! It's also a great resource for unmarried women such as myself. May we cherish our femininity. May we esteem marriage, motherhood, and keeping a home, and pray for God to teach us even now how to do these things well should He call us to them.
Overall, I highly recommend. We don't have enough books like this!
Consider the loveliness of a woman who passionately adores her husband, who tenderly cherishes her children, who creates a warm and peaceful home, who exemplifies purity, self-control, and kindness in her character and who gladly submits to her husband's leadership - for all the days God grants her life. I dare say there are few things that display the gospel jewel with greater elegance. This is true feminine appeal. ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
Truly, reading this book reinforced my passion for Christ-like marriages and godly homes. My heart was swelling with such excitement and joy at the thought of being a homemaker someday and creating a warm home where Christ is exalted. Of being a wife and helpmeet to one of God's adopted sons - to support him and encourage him in whatever God is calling him ... us ... to do. Of raising children together to know the love of their Creator and serve Him all their days.
Both husbands and wives will become more Christ-like by having to deal with each other's sins and deficiencies. We must settle this issue in our hearts. We married a sinner, and so did they. But this is the hope for our marriage: God forgives sinners and helps us grow to be like Him. ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
Remember that we vowed in our wedding ceremony "to love and to cherish till death do us part"? Do we even understand what we promised to do? To cherish means to hold dear, to care for tenderly or to nurture, to cling fondly to, or treat as precious. ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
This world is lacking homes. True, beautiful homes where Jesus Christ is adored and family is cherished and strangers loved on. I honestly believe that the breakdown of the family and godly home is what is leading to so much destruction in America. Think of the impact that we, as women, could have on society - on people's souls - if we took our femininity and its roles more seriously. We have the unique ability and responsibility to be homemakers and wives and mothers. For the sake of the Gospel. For the glory of God.
Dawson Trotman, founder of the group called the Navigators, once said: "I believe with all my heart that one of the greatest soul saving stations in the world is the home." And I love what one person observed about Dr. Francis Schaeffer's wife, Edith: "As many people were brought to the Lord through Mrs. Schaeffer's cinnamon buns as through Dr. Schaeffer's sermons!" ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
What an extraordinary thought - that we can create a home where it is "impossible to keep from thinking of God". ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
Feminine Appeal is based on the teachings in Titus 2, and addresses loving one's husband and children, self-control, purity, intimacy, homemaking, kindness, submission, and more. This might sound like an old-fashioned, outdated book to you, but I think you'd be surprised. God's design never goes out of style ... In fact, it is forever good and even delightful! What do you have to lose by giving this book a try? We can see that the culture's way of womanhood doesn't seem to be garnering that great of results.
Some points of this book might really challenge you ... even feel revolting to you. But should women's ministry be all about feel-good chats, inspirational quotes, and never feeling guilty? Since when have Christian women become the ones who can never be rebuked or corrected? We are in the wrong sometimes - many times(!) - and we need to repent and seek God's face. Lord, teach me how to be a woman!
The specific instruction in Titus 2 is for wives to be "submissive to their own husbands." This word submission in the Greek means to "voluntarily place oneself under." ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
The definition of the Greek word for "respect" means "to be in awe of, to revere, or to treat as someone special." Is that how we act toward our husbands? Do we respect them with our words, tone of voice, countenance, and body language? ~ Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
This book is easy to follow, and definitely worth the read! As I mentioned above, it ignited my passion and desire anew for homemaking, marriage, and motherhood. After finishing it, I wanted to get a copy for my mom and other dear wives & mothers who I know! It's also a great resource for unmarried women such as myself. May we cherish our femininity. May we esteem marriage, motherhood, and keeping a home, and pray for God to teach us even now how to do these things well should He call us to them.
Overall, I highly recommend. We don't have enough books like this!
January 11, 2009
This book has absolutely changed my view of my purpose as a woman. It is a must read for any Christian woman (married or single). Each chapter revealed sin that was in my life, that I never knew I had. I thought that this book would push that it is sinful to work outside of the home, something that is not necessarily going to be a reality for me in the future. Carolyn Mahaney does nothing of the sort. Throughout this book, she simply shows the biblical call of God to being a wife, mother, and a woman. She reveals the priorities that should be in our lives, and gives a ton of practical application. This book has really made me rethink my priorities and it has helped me find joy in submitting to my husband. It is for the sake of the gospel that we are called to do all things. I hope to read this many more times through out my life to remind me of my priorities.
May 4, 2016
There were some good take-aways from this read, but over-all I had a hard time relating to this book at all. I am a stay-at-home wife and homeschooling mother and I can get on board with the thought that the kids and the house are primarily my responsibility. But I think some of the ways the author chose to apply that were a stretch. Just as one example... the idea that I need to get up before my husband and kids or I'm "lazy." My husband is up at 5:15AM. He has expressed in no uncertain terms that he doesn't WANT me to get up before him. He wants me to sleep! He makes himself oatmeal in the morning, packs a few snacks to take to work, and then spends some time in silence with his Bible. This has worked just fine for the 6.5 years of our marriage. I have asked on several occasions if he'd like me to make him a lunch. His answer is always no. Basically, I found little application from any of the chapters, because the author had very rigid ideas about what is the correct way to serve one's family.
March 26, 2016
Excellent book. However, be sure to read it while giving yourself lots of grace. It could seem like a ridiculous to-do list, though it isn't meant to be that. Also, if studying with others be sure the women are super grounded in the gospel and their identity in Christ. It isn't for new believers.
November 3, 2009
gently convicting. thought it could have elaborated a bit more on the topics- seemed over simplified but a great read on being a godly women.
April 28, 2010
"Easy read. The book discussed clearly the fiminine virtues of women described in Titus 2. The book motivates me to please God in different seasons of life callings."
January 14, 2023
Here's a book about Christian living for women that I had never heard of before! I actually picked this one up in a LFL. It was published by Crossway in 2003. The author is a mother, homemaker, and wife of a pastor. I found much of it to be encouraging and relatable! There were a few things I don't agree with at all, and that's okay. Would I recommend it? Yes, but maybe only to already wise and discerning women. I'm going to outline my disagreements here only because I feel like it's the responsible thing to do 🙈
The author does encourage women to listen to older women who tell them to let their babies CIO 😳 I personally would never in my life do that (sorry), and listening to older women about practical things like that is reallyyyyy not necessarily the best way. **Age actually has nothing to do with quality advice** 😇 - education coupled with experience and a healthy dose of mother's intuition is what I would advise a new mom to look for, not your mom or a grandma in your church body. I actually did have an older woman in my church tell me to read baby books that are deemed harmful by many women in my community, and I'm so thankful I did not listen! The other thing I will point out is her advice to appeal to your husband to ASK to go to your pastor or another couple together if there is a sin struggle in your family. I believe Piper also says this? This is where I leave y'all 😂😖 if there is sin in your family that is harmful and detrimental to its members, please just go get therapy, with or without an appeal...with or without anyone else. GET HELP from someone who is qualified to help you, it's really okay!
I haven't done a hot-take review in a while and hopefully I did not step on too many toes with this one. Sometimes it's nice to sing the praises of every book and be able to wholeheartedly recommend what we read, but what we are doing here is critically reviewing books widely and they just won't all be ones we can individually sign off on ❤️ the rest of the advice in the book I really did love and would recommend reading! 😘
The author does encourage women to listen to older women who tell them to let their babies CIO 😳 I personally would never in my life do that (sorry), and listening to older women about practical things like that is reallyyyyy not necessarily the best way. **Age actually has nothing to do with quality advice** 😇 - education coupled with experience and a healthy dose of mother's intuition is what I would advise a new mom to look for, not your mom or a grandma in your church body. I actually did have an older woman in my church tell me to read baby books that are deemed harmful by many women in my community, and I'm so thankful I did not listen! The other thing I will point out is her advice to appeal to your husband to ASK to go to your pastor or another couple together if there is a sin struggle in your family. I believe Piper also says this? This is where I leave y'all 😂😖 if there is sin in your family that is harmful and detrimental to its members, please just go get therapy, with or without an appeal...with or without anyone else. GET HELP from someone who is qualified to help you, it's really okay!
I haven't done a hot-take review in a while and hopefully I did not step on too many toes with this one. Sometimes it's nice to sing the praises of every book and be able to wholeheartedly recommend what we read, but what we are doing here is critically reviewing books widely and they just won't all be ones we can individually sign off on ❤️ the rest of the advice in the book I really did love and would recommend reading! 😘
August 18, 2009
Excellent. I've been searching for a guide to Biblical womanhood, and I would definitely say this is the best one I've read recently. I would put it up with Elisabeth Elliot's "Let Me Be a Woman." Carolyn Mahaney has a simple, refined writing style. It's practical, biblical, and beautiful. Her humility shows throughout the text, but so does her experience. She is clear but gentle, and always firm about biblical truth. You won't find her bashing specific lifestyles, throwing herself headlong into a cause or a movement and trying to drag others with her, or glorifying a previous era, but you will find Bible truth presented, explained, and exemplified. The testimonies she shares show how theory meets real life. She doesn't avoid the controversial topic of submission, but she does point out its abuses and its proper place, even noting the establishment of submission within the Godhead. Now I'd personally never looked at that before. Considering Christ submitting to His Father's will certainly gives a different perspective. I wish I owned this one and may purchase my own copy for further study.
April 11, 2020
J'ai bien aimé ce livre très pratique lors de ma préparation pour le mariage. Un livre agréable à lire et pas mal de bons conseils basé sur la sagesse biblique. Il aborde tout ce que doit apprendre une femme pour être épanouie, selon Tite 2. Je recommande
March 20, 2023
I loved this book. I found it to be very applicable and very biblical.
January 11, 2022
When I first attempted to read this book months ago, I didn’t make it far… didn’t seem too interested in what it had to offer. But this time around was completely different. What a wealth of knowledge and a beautiful picture of how to adorn the gospel of Christ at home, as a wife and mother.
May 31, 2011
A fairly solid entry in the how-to-be-a-wife-and-mother category. Mahaney's perspective on sex is certainly less depressing than the Ricuccis' in Love That Lasts (for one thing, Mahaney seems to actually enjoy sex and delight in her husband). But honestly, a lot of this book was more discouraging than encouraging. The chapter on loving your children might be an encouragement to someone who already has kids, but to someone who is not yet a parent . . . well, it made me all the more terrified of the sacrifice and work that parenting involves. It sounds so hard!
Likewise, the chapter on working at home is less than helpful for those who either a) don't feel up to the task of being a stay-at-home wife and mother (which is a lot of us in this post-feminist era--we have been taught how to succeed at school and in the workplace but haven't the foggiest idea how to manage a family), or b) would like to stay home but can't (those who are sold on the concept but circumstances force them to keep working outside the home).
I don't think I would recommend this book to single women, either. Mahaney pays lip service to her single readers, encouraging them to keep reading because they may need this information some day, and they can better encourage their married friends, etc. But she offers little practical advice. How exactly is a single woman supposed to work at home when she also works away from home? It's nice to tell her she still needs to do something, but without practical advice, all you've accomplished is making her feel guilty for not being a better housekeeper and making her even more discontented with her singleness.
But the worst offender is by far the closing chapter of the book. Mahaney meant it as a tribute to her mother, who inspired her and set an example for her of godly femininity. Which is a lovely thing in and of itself. But either Mahaney succumbs to the temptation of loving hyperbole, or her mother was magic. Either way, the last thing that will encourage me on my quest for godly femininity is a tale of a perfect woman who did everything right, never (never?) complained, always (always?) served selflessly, etc. "Here is this amazing woman. You suck. Now go and be encouraged." Mahaney would have served her readers better by presenting the story of a flawed-but-forgiven woman. I can relate to that. That is a picture of the gospel. That means there's hope even for me.
Still, Mahaney's theology is solid enough, and it's not a bad book. Just not my favorite on the subject.
Likewise, the chapter on working at home is less than helpful for those who either a) don't feel up to the task of being a stay-at-home wife and mother (which is a lot of us in this post-feminist era--we have been taught how to succeed at school and in the workplace but haven't the foggiest idea how to manage a family), or b) would like to stay home but can't (those who are sold on the concept but circumstances force them to keep working outside the home).
I don't think I would recommend this book to single women, either. Mahaney pays lip service to her single readers, encouraging them to keep reading because they may need this information some day, and they can better encourage their married friends, etc. But she offers little practical advice. How exactly is a single woman supposed to work at home when she also works away from home? It's nice to tell her she still needs to do something, but without practical advice, all you've accomplished is making her feel guilty for not being a better housekeeper and making her even more discontented with her singleness.
But the worst offender is by far the closing chapter of the book. Mahaney meant it as a tribute to her mother, who inspired her and set an example for her of godly femininity. Which is a lovely thing in and of itself. But either Mahaney succumbs to the temptation of loving hyperbole, or her mother was magic. Either way, the last thing that will encourage me on my quest for godly femininity is a tale of a perfect woman who did everything right, never (never?) complained, always (always?) served selflessly, etc. "Here is this amazing woman. You suck. Now go and be encouraged." Mahaney would have served her readers better by presenting the story of a flawed-but-forgiven woman. I can relate to that. That is a picture of the gospel. That means there's hope even for me.
Still, Mahaney's theology is solid enough, and it's not a bad book. Just not my favorite on the subject.
March 8, 2010
This one is geared primarily towards married women, though single girls can find a lot of good in it too. I appreicate the fact that it's based on Scripture. Mrs. Mahaney takes the seven directions for women from Titus 2 (love husbands, love children, self-control, purity, working at home, kindness, and submission) and devotes a chapter to each, giving practical and Biblical direction for how to apply them in your life. She also reminds us that we can't do it on our own, but God will enable us to love or exhibit self-control or whatever it is that needs doing.
We don't want to load women up with a lot of "to-do's_. Rather we want to encourage them with the knowledge that God's grace is available to help them grow. I appreciated this perspective, and the reminder that God will help us to love and serve as He wants.
We don't want to load women up with a lot of "to-do's_. Rather we want to encourage them with the knowledge that God's grace is available to help them grow. I appreciated this perspective, and the reminder that God will help us to love and serve as He wants.
August 12, 2016
This book has some good biblical wisdom in it, but it is written very much from the viewpoint of a happy housewife and offers little help to those women who have to balance housekeeping with working a day job. The quality of the writing is good, but the message is wanting for any woman living in the 21st century.
January 22, 2014
A practical application of Titus 2. I personally enjoyed Hughes' version more but both are practical and biblical.
July 28, 2015
A little slow, but it would be a good starting ground for someone who is looking for a biblical example of what it means to be a wife. It walks through seven virtues of a godly wife and mother.
August 24, 2022
An encouraging and inspiring read, solidly rooted in scripture and filled with practical advice. I usually try to read The Excellent Wife every few years, but I may have to go every-other with this one. This even touched on anger, which was really helpful for me. The little stories of "Carol" the independent businesswoman learning about submission felt a little corny/meh for me, but also they didn't apply to me as much, so they are probably more helpful for others.
Unlike other books like this, this one wasn't too long! Unfortunately this means that giant topics like self control aren't completely fleshed out, but I don't think her goal was to write an exhaustive study on all subjects within Titus 2. The study/reflection questions at the end are a nice way to take your understanding a step further. Oh, and the little surprise tear jerker at the end was very sweet. Aaand that's my review.
Unlike other books like this, this one wasn't too long! Unfortunately this means that giant topics like self control aren't completely fleshed out, but I don't think her goal was to write an exhaustive study on all subjects within Titus 2. The study/reflection questions at the end are a nice way to take your understanding a step further. Oh, and the little surprise tear jerker at the end was very sweet. Aaand that's my review.
August 20, 2021
Absolutely loved this one.
The past few months my husband and I have really been working on re-orienting ourselves to Jesus Christ and deepening our faith. This book was an easy read, but not a shallow read - even though I (perhaps pridefully) think I know a fair bit about femininity, I gained some new insights and a whole lot of needed encouragement.
Many of us today, especially converts, have few role models of biblical submission to follow. I always love reading a book that gives me that feeling that I am walking in the footsteps of other Christian women. The chapter at the end about “Margaret” made me tear up - and inspired me to do more simple things like inviting people for dinner, etc. Hospitality is something I really can work on, even in this busy season.
Note for Catholic friends: this book seemed pretty “non denominational” to me, and I didn’t find anything incongruent with Catholic teaching. I’d definitely recommend this to any Christian woman. :)
The past few months my husband and I have really been working on re-orienting ourselves to Jesus Christ and deepening our faith. This book was an easy read, but not a shallow read - even though I (perhaps pridefully) think I know a fair bit about femininity, I gained some new insights and a whole lot of needed encouragement.
Many of us today, especially converts, have few role models of biblical submission to follow. I always love reading a book that gives me that feeling that I am walking in the footsteps of other Christian women. The chapter at the end about “Margaret” made me tear up - and inspired me to do more simple things like inviting people for dinner, etc. Hospitality is something I really can work on, even in this busy season.
Note for Catholic friends: this book seemed pretty “non denominational” to me, and I didn’t find anything incongruent with Catholic teaching. I’d definitely recommend this to any Christian woman. :)
May 20, 2022
Not as good as I was hoping. Some good things but there are just better books out there on this topic. I definitely don’t agree with a few things (always being available for sex, basically reorienting whole life around what husband wants, husband not supposed to help with any “home making” tasks). It’s just not a realistic or kind interpretation of verses in the Bible about women.
July 28, 2022
I liked this better than I thought I would, it was very thoughtful. I don't feel like it answered all my questions or like where and how different kinds of people fit into this, but what book does. I still think it really needs a different cover and a different title.
March 14, 2017
This book clearly explains the passages from Titus 2 and 1 Peter 3 in the Bible, and how women are to live out the principles given for how a godly woman is supposed to be. I really enjoyed this book, as it explained these principles in more depth. Overall, most of this book seemed to apply to married women, but I think I can take principles from it and apply it to my life as a single person too.
January 24, 2019
Carolyn Mahaney's book gleans from Titus 2, principles and practices for women. However, it is quite prescriptive. Moreover, the role outlined for wives in the book is very traditional, written as a handbook for a 1950s white, suburban housewife. It takes the timeless truths of scripture and narrowly applies it. This book does not translate well to beyond American culture (i.e. a 1950s version)
Here are a few examples:
-An example of being "busy at home" is for wife is to go to bed early, and get up early. She is to be ready to serve her husband and family early each day. A wife that spends too much time watching t.v. at night is considered to be "lazy".
-Homemaking is being devoted to serving in the home. Illustrations of working women are cast in a disparaging light: A husband and wife are praised for downsizing so the wife can stay home with the children.
-A wife must seek to be as sexually available to her husband at all times. The author encourages a woman to forego a nice dinner and make PB&Js so that there is more time for sex. (This one really burns my biscuits.)
-Advice given to the author by an older woman was to allow her child to "cry it out". Though this is a genuine method some mothers use, it seems another culture (where carrying babies on their back is common) could incorrectly apply as "the right way to mother a child".
Finally, the way this book talks about submission feels limited, lacking balance. I wish Mahaney had written more of the progressive nature of Ephesians chapter 5. The Greco-Roman culture to which St. Paul wrote these words viewed women as sexual objects, conquests and primarily intended for a man's pleasure. (Not much different than our current culture.) When St. Paul urges husbands to "love their wives and treat their bodies as their own" he dares to equate women on par with men--equal in value and dignity. A woman could take Mahaney's instructions and easily conclude there is little value in her, and she is meant entirely for her husband's pleasure or at the dispense of her children.
There are better books out there.
Here are a few examples:
-An example of being "busy at home" is for wife is to go to bed early, and get up early. She is to be ready to serve her husband and family early each day. A wife that spends too much time watching t.v. at night is considered to be "lazy".
-Homemaking is being devoted to serving in the home. Illustrations of working women are cast in a disparaging light: A husband and wife are praised for downsizing so the wife can stay home with the children.
-A wife must seek to be as sexually available to her husband at all times. The author encourages a woman to forego a nice dinner and make PB&Js so that there is more time for sex. (This one really burns my biscuits.)
-Advice given to the author by an older woman was to allow her child to "cry it out". Though this is a genuine method some mothers use, it seems another culture (where carrying babies on their back is common) could incorrectly apply as "the right way to mother a child".
Finally, the way this book talks about submission feels limited, lacking balance. I wish Mahaney had written more of the progressive nature of Ephesians chapter 5. The Greco-Roman culture to which St. Paul wrote these words viewed women as sexual objects, conquests and primarily intended for a man's pleasure. (Not much different than our current culture.) When St. Paul urges husbands to "love their wives and treat their bodies as their own" he dares to equate women on par with men--equal in value and dignity. A woman could take Mahaney's instructions and easily conclude there is little value in her, and she is meant entirely for her husband's pleasure or at the dispense of her children.
There are better books out there.
February 21, 2012
MY REVIEW:
Feminine Appeal is a comprehensive and comprehensible book on the seven virtues of a godly wife and/or mother as found in Titus chapter two. While the main focus and practicality is applicable to married women, this book is a wonderful read for single women not-yet-married or not-now-married. The message is Biblically accurate and presented in such a loving and gentle way. Carolyn Mahaney is not forceful or "down your throat" aggressive but simply sweet as she walk us through the commands given to us in Titus as well as in other passages concerning our role as women.
I personally appreciated her honest vulnerability as she not only teaches "how-to" do - or in some cases "how not to" do - various things but also shares her personal stories and shortcomings. This book on Biblical womanhood was very encouraging because it wasn't simply an explanation of what we should be doing, but also a look at how the gospel is at the center of what we should be doing. I was able to walk away encouraged and convicted and blessed with a lot of practical helps.
I highly recommend this book to any female who wants to pursue being a woman who is what God designed her to be. It is appropriate for high school teen girls and older and in this updated version, has the option to be a great book/Bible study guide.
MY HIGHLIGHTS:
Chapter 2 - Treasure my husband because I was made for Him.
Chapter 3 - Love my children & delight in them.
Chapter 4 - The primary purpose of my feelings is to glorify God.
Chapter 5 - Watching, reading, listening to anything that arouses impure thoughts is wrong.
Chapter 6 - Homemaking is truly the best job available!
Chapter 7 - Cultivate the desire of kindness and let it show in the actions of goodness.
Chapter 8 - Submit...joyfully!
Feminine Appeal is a comprehensive and comprehensible book on the seven virtues of a godly wife and/or mother as found in Titus chapter two. While the main focus and practicality is applicable to married women, this book is a wonderful read for single women not-yet-married or not-now-married. The message is Biblically accurate and presented in such a loving and gentle way. Carolyn Mahaney is not forceful or "down your throat" aggressive but simply sweet as she walk us through the commands given to us in Titus as well as in other passages concerning our role as women.
I personally appreciated her honest vulnerability as she not only teaches "how-to" do - or in some cases "how not to" do - various things but also shares her personal stories and shortcomings. This book on Biblical womanhood was very encouraging because it wasn't simply an explanation of what we should be doing, but also a look at how the gospel is at the center of what we should be doing. I was able to walk away encouraged and convicted and blessed with a lot of practical helps.
I highly recommend this book to any female who wants to pursue being a woman who is what God designed her to be. It is appropriate for high school teen girls and older and in this updated version, has the option to be a great book/Bible study guide.
MY HIGHLIGHTS:
Chapter 2 - Treasure my husband because I was made for Him.
Chapter 3 - Love my children & delight in them.
Chapter 4 - The primary purpose of my feelings is to glorify God.
Chapter 5 - Watching, reading, listening to anything that arouses impure thoughts is wrong.
Chapter 6 - Homemaking is truly the best job available!
Chapter 7 - Cultivate the desire of kindness and let it show in the actions of goodness.
Chapter 8 - Submit...joyfully!
August 18, 2016
Carolyn Mahaney's illustration of a godly woman based on Titus 2:3-5 is Biblical, practical, but perhaps not as well-rounded as it could be. She provides clear and insightful explanations of difficult concepts such as purity and submission. I most enjoyed how many helpful and practical tips she gave for loving and serving well.
However, I feel Mahaney's teaching fell short in regards to the Biblical command that women "work at home". Women should have making a peaceful and life-giving home a top priority for their families and husband. But this doesn't mean women can't also hold a job outside the home. Mahaney does agree with this and mentions it briefly, but her book is almost exclusively full of stories of stay-at-home moms and women who realized they had to give up their jobs (for personal and valid reasons). These examples were all great, but it could leave working mom's feeling confused and a little condemned. Mahaney may have missed an opportunity to speak to these women, and show that - Biblically - loving your children and husband well doesn't require always having the perfect meal on or having a spotless house. It requires being present whenever needed, having a servant's heart, and putting your family's needs before your own more than anything. So if a working woman can honestly and accurately say she can achieve that while holding a job, she is meeting God's wishes for godly womanhood.
I would give this book 3.5 stars if I could. What was in it, I enjoyed - but just wonder if it could be more well-rounded in speaking to different women. I found this book to be a bit of a slow read (despite its short length), which may be either because of the writing style or because I'm already familiar with much of the concepts the book covers.
However, I feel Mahaney's teaching fell short in regards to the Biblical command that women "work at home". Women should have making a peaceful and life-giving home a top priority for their families and husband. But this doesn't mean women can't also hold a job outside the home. Mahaney does agree with this and mentions it briefly, but her book is almost exclusively full of stories of stay-at-home moms and women who realized they had to give up their jobs (for personal and valid reasons). These examples were all great, but it could leave working mom's feeling confused and a little condemned. Mahaney may have missed an opportunity to speak to these women, and show that - Biblically - loving your children and husband well doesn't require always having the perfect meal on or having a spotless house. It requires being present whenever needed, having a servant's heart, and putting your family's needs before your own more than anything. So if a working woman can honestly and accurately say she can achieve that while holding a job, she is meeting God's wishes for godly womanhood.
I would give this book 3.5 stars if I could. What was in it, I enjoyed - but just wonder if it could be more well-rounded in speaking to different women. I found this book to be a bit of a slow read (despite its short length), which may be either because of the writing style or because I'm already familiar with much of the concepts the book covers.
April 5, 2017
Written by Carolyn Mahaney, Feminine Appeal speaks a breath of fresh air and sound truth of the Bible to women who are torn between a career and family.
I remember being in that exact state, while reading this book.. wondering why I was reading it, but knowing I wanted to understand God's design for women.
The main points I caught was that:
1) God created older women to teach younger women (Titus 2) about the little things in life and about following God! This is a discipleship relationship we need to remember we have access to.
2) There is joy in living God's way as a woman!
Titus 2 were the verses Carolyn expounded on. What the world frowns on, are things that actually preserve the faith & that God delights in.
The 7 virtues are:
- The delight of loving my husband
- The blessings of loving my children
- The safety of self-control
- The pleasure of purity
- The honor of working at home
- The rewards of kindness
- The beauty of submission
To clarify, this book is NOT one that is anti career. It merely highlights the Bible's values for women, that quite contrasts the values of today.
I would recommend this book to any woman, as we today can benefit from Carolyn's gracious sharing on the Bible's message for women. Thanks Carolyn, for showing us that in servanthood is great joy. Not chasing success.
I remember being in that exact state, while reading this book.. wondering why I was reading it, but knowing I wanted to understand God's design for women.
The main points I caught was that:
1) God created older women to teach younger women (Titus 2) about the little things in life and about following God! This is a discipleship relationship we need to remember we have access to.
2) There is joy in living God's way as a woman!
Titus 2 were the verses Carolyn expounded on. What the world frowns on, are things that actually preserve the faith & that God delights in.
The 7 virtues are:
- The delight of loving my husband
- The blessings of loving my children
- The safety of self-control
- The pleasure of purity
- The honor of working at home
- The rewards of kindness
- The beauty of submission
To clarify, this book is NOT one that is anti career. It merely highlights the Bible's values for women, that quite contrasts the values of today.
I would recommend this book to any woman, as we today can benefit from Carolyn's gracious sharing on the Bible's message for women. Thanks Carolyn, for showing us that in servanthood is great joy. Not chasing success.
October 14, 2014
While many reviewers have objections to some of the things the author suggests for women in this book, I think it is important to remember that she is expounding on the principles in Titus 2. You may not agree with this passage of scripture, however, if you claim to be a Follower of Christ, then scripture should affect and change your thoughts and behavior.
I found this book to be convicting, not in the sense of weighty guilt, but in the sense of there are things that I still need to work on and let my heart be affected by my relationship with Christ. The examples given in each chapter do mainly focus on the traditional role of women as wives and homemakers. If you are a single and/or working woman, you may feel the book has nothing to do with you. The principles, in fact, do apply, but it may be harder for you to apply this specifically to your own life because there are no examples of how to have this feminine appeal outside of the roles described.
All in all, I think this is a worthwhile read. There are study and application questions at the end, which I plan on working through. Carolyn has a passion for women to live out their full potential for serving God in the ways that are described in Titus, 1 Peter, and Ephesians. Her encouraging mentoring attitude is evident in her writing.
I found this book to be convicting, not in the sense of weighty guilt, but in the sense of there are things that I still need to work on and let my heart be affected by my relationship with Christ. The examples given in each chapter do mainly focus on the traditional role of women as wives and homemakers. If you are a single and/or working woman, you may feel the book has nothing to do with you. The principles, in fact, do apply, but it may be harder for you to apply this specifically to your own life because there are no examples of how to have this feminine appeal outside of the roles described.
All in all, I think this is a worthwhile read. There are study and application questions at the end, which I plan on working through. Carolyn has a passion for women to live out their full potential for serving God in the ways that are described in Titus, 1 Peter, and Ephesians. Her encouraging mentoring attitude is evident in her writing.
July 27, 2013
This book contained a heartening, honest and balanced viewpoint on how to be a sweet, uplifting Christian mother and wife, while also acknowledging the strains of this profession. I especially enjoyed the practical way in which Mahoney encourages women to be the heart of the home, to thoughtfully care and pray for those in their care, while also creating a peaceful and loving environment for them at home. I also appreciated Mahoney's forthright and positive treatment of sex within marriage, as this is missing from other similar literature. Lastly, I was somewhat hesitant about how Mahoney would deal with the working mother issue and I found myself in line with her position: making the home and caring for children are to be the primary occupation of Christian women who are able to do so. They may still work outside the home (just as men help care for the home, in addition to working outside of it as their primary task), but their #1 calling is to create a loving and supportive household for the members of their family. I highly recommend this book, even if it seems to run counter to your own values. Who knows? You may find yourself intrigued.
February 3, 2011
This book will take you through the ringer if you're honest with yourself. :) If you're not able to heed advice like, "Only work on one or two of the seven listed..." then don't pick this book up. This book is intended to be an encouragement but could quickly turn into a burdensome load if one were to take it upon herself to make adjustments in all seven areas at once.
I loved the way Carolyn Mahaney drew from other authors to make points and clarifications. I have never better understood bitterness and sinful judgment! However, it annoyed me how after dealing w/ the issue addressed in the chapter she specifically addressed single women in a near patronizing manner. "If you're single then keep reading because xyz." This book's subtitle addresses it to Godly wives and mothers, but she attempts to include those who do not fall into that category. I do think that there is great merit in reading this if one is single, however, I wish she would've handled it in a less predictable way chapter after chapter.
I would recommend this book to women of all ages and stations.
I loved the way Carolyn Mahaney drew from other authors to make points and clarifications. I have never better understood bitterness and sinful judgment! However, it annoyed me how after dealing w/ the issue addressed in the chapter she specifically addressed single women in a near patronizing manner. "If you're single then keep reading because xyz." This book's subtitle addresses it to Godly wives and mothers, but she attempts to include those who do not fall into that category. I do think that there is great merit in reading this if one is single, however, I wish she would've handled it in a less predictable way chapter after chapter.
I would recommend this book to women of all ages and stations.
December 26, 2011
If it were possible, I'd give this book 3.5 stars. It's hard for me to find a Christian women's book I give more than that. While it's got some great advice in it, at the same time, I found offense at the part that said if you stay up late and call yourself a night owl, she likened that to laziness.
While the "Seven Virtures" are good, I also was under the impression this was a good read for single women in preparation of marriage. While I suppose that is true, the title and the book is focused on the wife and mother.
It did have some great ideas on how to submit without being a doormat (which is how I've generally heard submission taught), how to encourage your children (which I can use with my "niece" and "newphews", how to serve (and aren't we all to be servants of one another) so I would say this is a worthwhile read if you are wanting to learn more about becoming a model Christian wife and mother.
While the "Seven Virtures" are good, I also was under the impression this was a good read for single women in preparation of marriage. While I suppose that is true, the title and the book is focused on the wife and mother.
It did have some great ideas on how to submit without being a doormat (which is how I've generally heard submission taught), how to encourage your children (which I can use with my "niece" and "newphews", how to serve (and aren't we all to be servants of one another) so I would say this is a worthwhile read if you are wanting to learn more about becoming a model Christian wife and mother.
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