Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

The Love Dare

Rate this book
Unconditional love is eagerly promised at weddings, but rarely practiced in real life. As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

The Love Dare, as featured in the popular new movie Fireproof (from the makers of Facing the Giants), is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take. It’s time to learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage. Take the dare!

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

Loading interface...
Loading interface...

About the author

Stephen Kendrick

98 books207 followers
Stephen Kendrick (born June 10, 1974) is an American film writer and producer, co-writer of the book The Love Dare with brother Alex Kendrick, and former senior associate pastor at Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia. Stephen, Shannon and Alex Kendrick comprise Kendrick Brothers Productions.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
36,175 (60%)
4 stars
14,653 (24%)
3 stars
6,760 (11%)
2 stars
1,549 (2%)
1 star
1,005 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 624 reviews
Profile Image for John.
152 reviews7 followers
May 16, 2009
I worked through the 40 Dares in this book over the last month and a half, and it completely changed the way that I look at my spouse.

I have always loved her, but now I have found a better way to love her.

A very powerful dare asked me to visualize two rooms in my heart (one APPRECIATION and one DEPRECIATION) for my spouse. It asked me how often I go in the APPRECIATION room and how often I visit the DEPRECIATION room.

I made a three page list of things that I love about my wife, Nancy, and I gave it to her. I had to make a list of things that I don't like about her, and it dared me to burn the list.

It is hard to visit the DEPRECIATION ROOM when it has BURNED DOWN!

Guess what!? You can create your OWN APPRECIATION and DEPRECIATION rooms. I wrote lists for MYSELF, and NOW My DEPRECIATION room is currently BURNED DOWN. It is really hard to visit there.

It makes your life a lot better when you aren't putting yourself down, but you are looking at positive ways that you can change the world.
Profile Image for Cherlynn Gates.
10 reviews3 followers
January 21, 2013
it honestly takes 2 people to make a marriage work. doing all the items in this book did not save my ten year marriage because the substance from both sides wasnt there to save. since my marriage ended after catching my ex and sister in bed and her burning down my house, I'd say my marriage wasnt "fireproof", but heres the kicker because I put into practice these lessons, I had no regrets in leaving my ex cause I did all I could to save the marriage in the 6 months before the fire and I learned how to have a successful relationship with someone who loved me in return. it has become an incredible foundation for my soul mate and I to build our marriage upon. god works in mysterious ways.
Profile Image for Emily.
1,864 reviews37 followers
June 9, 2016
I have mixed feelings about this one. On the positive side, reading this book with my husband gave us a set time in the day to focus on our marriage through the lens of faith.
On the negative side (for me), the authors are pretty conservative, and some maddeningly old fashioned ideas of gender roles and the nature of men and women shine through in the writing.
If you can shake that off, or if you simply agree with their views, there are good ideas to be found about how to treat your loved one and how to improve your relationship.
Although I doubt I will check out more books by these particular authors, reading this book with my husband inspired me to keep pursuing this collaborative approach to growing in our relationship. That alone made it worth it.
Profile Image for Yoby.
79 reviews31 followers
February 28, 2009
From the cheesiest, most powerful movie I ever loved, the 40 day love dare. I am on Day 27, and I am flunking my way through this book. This one is a good spiritual practic of a king not much in vogue - ministering to your spouse, because just like firemen don't abandon their partners in a firestorm, you don't abandon your spouse in a firestorm.

I have a friend in a recovery group who says "some days you stay married one day at a time just like you stay sober one day at a time." This is a book to help you do that. What I liked about the movie is on Day 20, his wife said, "Don't you get it that I don't love you anymore." (Said that, heard that - through many winters in our marriage.) So he calls his father who gave him this handwritten journal of dares, and his father tells him that is as it is supposed to be, and that he hasn't truly started even loving yet." The movie and books Christian overtones might put a lot of people off, but I don't care. I read bhuddist texts and other spiritual works from other spiritual practices, and have decided that I am still a veyr strong christian but have a lot in common with other beliefs, and am not here to persuade anyone, but this bookhas a lot of good practices in it for men or women, and as a friend of mine says "sefishness and self-centeredness, that is the root of our problem."

I also think in my spiritual practice that this is a lot about how God loves us and maybe practicing loving God back.

It is an easy to understand book and often easy to agree with, but hard, hard, hard to practice. I love my pet selfishnesses and resentments and find it hard to give them up or drop them first or go first to reconciliation.

so there is my big honost truth.
Profile Image for Will.
96 reviews7 followers
September 26, 2012

I wanted to like this book and I know no book has all the answers when it comes to all relationships because each relationship is unique. This book is also split in 40 days of advice... it starts out as little things you can change or do to make your partner's life better and hopefully improve the bond between the two of you.

However about halfway through until the end it turns into "how to be a doormat". This becomes one big guilt trip and becomes very centered on men must always give in to their wives... it is always the woman's way... and you are committing a sin against God to do anything different.

In many cases it is clearly said that a husband must abandon all his wants, desires, hopes, and dreams in order to please his wife... the opposite isn't mentioned and the message gets stronger towards the end of the book and the religious guilt trips get stronger too.

Look, I would do anything (within reason) for my wife. In one of the final chapters this book lays out how that isn't enough... that if my wife wants something I need to do it regardless of costs, consequences, or impact it may have on me. Would I like to take my wife on a trip around the world, make it so that she never had to lift a finger again, or have everything she ever desired at the drop of a hat.... of course... but this is reality and the unfortunate truth is that I can't do that for her.

The final chapters confirmed my dislike for this book... a famous verse says Love Never Fails. This book twists that phrase in a way that really irritated me. Two chapters go to the point of saying regardless of whether you're wife absolutely hates you, it is your mission to do whatever she says, whenever she says it... because if you try hard enough love never fails... even if she says it's a complete failure and she wants out. I'm not in favor of divorce... however if you're being totally taken advantage of... if you are being abused... if you are being unloved.... your love didn't fail... but the marriage did... and while you did everything you could it didn't work... and this book's demands that you be a slave and a torture victim because you made a vow regrets to remember that the other person also made vows as well. It showed me how one sided, blind, and potentially dangerous this book could be for some people who would read it and decide to stay in an abusive marriage because of it.

So in wrapping up this book says that's not only am I a failure... I am a horrible person and sinner as a result. That's what the book says... in the end only two opinions matter... one is upstairs and the other is my wife.

I highly recommend looking elsewhere if you are looking for ways to improve your marriage.
Profile Image for Katt Hansen.
3,689 reviews98 followers
June 2, 2012
Ouch.

It's taken me forever to get through this book, mostly because I wasn't ready for it.

Yeah, I'm being honest in my review. Go figure.

The first half was good. I did the challenges daily, and saw results. I saw more results than I ever thought possible. My husband was responding, hey even I was responding. The second half though...well it got harder. The Christian things, praying and making a commitment to God, that went ok. But the deeper commitments I wasn't ready for.

Finally I just gave up on doing the challenges. Instead I read about them each day and thought about them. But this book will have to go back on the shelf until I'm in a place to try again.

OK, that's too personal.

The book itself? It seems common sense. Pay attention to your spouse, and SHOW them you care over and over and over even when you've been rejected. Simple but something that's sometimes hard to do. I liked the challenges as it gave a focus for that. Something specific you could do that day, which is just the kind of thing I need.

But 40 days isn't enough time to prepare a heart, to HEAL a heart to the point where I'm personally ready to renew my wedding vows (the final challenge). Maybe it's better spaced out more?

Someday I'll try this again. But not right away. I think I have some more work to do on myself first.
Profile Image for Annette .
19 reviews9 followers
March 14, 2011
I am on Day 29 Love's Motivation

When God is your reason for loving, your abitlity to love is guaranteed.

The love that's demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful additional benefit.
Profile Image for Kim.
105 reviews4 followers
April 8, 2009
So far--EXCELLENT. This movie was EXCELLENT. Thank you Stephen Kendrick for creating this book. I am fortunate to be able to say that my husband and I have an excellent marriage, but in the 20 years we have been together there have been tough times, for sure. Now, with people we know doing destructive things in their marriages (speaking negatively about their spouses and to their spouses, rampant pornography, not prioritizing time with each other, etc.) marriages are not being nurtured and are falling apart--people are giving in to temptations. This book gives fun and real ways to re-connect and show love and respect to one another. Even an excellent marriage can use some creativity and new ways to rekindle the love that needs to last "til death do us part". Every married couple should do this book!
Profile Image for Jorge Criado.
Author 56 books53 followers
May 26, 2017
Un buen libro con recomendaciones prácticas para la vida matrimonial y para entender el amor de una forma real y no como una especie de sentimentalismo absurdo al estilo de lo que hoy se pretende que sea. El amor es elección.
La pega es que, al ser baptista el autor, se pierde muy buenas cosas. Como los sacramentos, sin ir más lejos. O leer la Biblia según la Tradición, ya que uno de los desafíos estaba relacionado, si mal no recuerdo, con la lectura de la Biblia. Al leerlo me daba esa sensación, de que faltaban cosas, de incompletitud.
Sin embargo, eso no hace que deje de ser un gran libro que ha hecho y seguirá haciendo sin duda mucho bien.
Profile Image for Adrienna.
Author 18 books237 followers
February 6, 2009
If you are married, and want your relationship to work out, this is the book to read. It speaks about Love, how God views love, and oneness--togetherness--and unity. It is a forty-day journey to see your spouse for who they are, who they have become, and who you love the most underneath God's leadership. God is the third thread in a marriage, there is a difference between a marriage contract and covenant with God. I take the covenant with God more so than marriage contract. I want to be married until death do us part.
Profile Image for Joseph Wetterling.
123 reviews29 followers
April 15, 2012
The accompanying movie, Fireproof, really hit home for my wife and I. We watched it together, and we saw ourselves in some of the scenes. After that, we worked through the 40 day Love Dare.

We found that working through it together, on the same day, made things more difficult. We both knew what "dare" the other person was on, and there was a sense of expectation that neither of us intended. "She's on day three today. I wonder where my present is?" That's the entirely wrong idea! (Sin does, indeed, make you stupid.)

The book is clearly evangelical protestant, but there was really nothing that troubled me as a Catholic. There is much good to add but nothing I would take away from the book. Work through the book day by day and really follow the dares.

I especially liked the brief coverage of covenant in the last day of the forty. It meshes very well with the idea of covenant presented in good Old Testament studies, such as Dr. Hahn's "A Father Who Keeps His Promises" and salvationhistory.com
549 reviews3 followers
August 9, 2014
This is a really great book. Although a lot of people I know had this book on their shelves, none of them had actually worked their way through it or even read the first page. The reason? It's seen as a resource for when your relationship is in crisis.

I felt like I didn't really need to do this book but it turned out I was wrong.

It was very useful to have a challenge to complete. Some dares took longer to complete than others depending on my pride levels. I also really liked how simple and clear it was written and yet woulxd cut straight to the heart.

Since the focus is love, the lessons learnt here can also be applied in every relationship.

Try it. I dare you.
4 reviews
May 25, 2020
Challenging book in terms of it urges you to look at issues and deal with them from a Christian view and biblically so.
Profile Image for Britt B.
370 reviews5 followers
October 18, 2020
This started out as being something that Alex and I would read together before bed but with long distance it started being a just me thing. It has valuable knowledge and insight and is something I would love to revisit once a year - to read it in its entirety or just to reference. I also would love the chance to reread it with Alex. We were given this as a bridal shower gift and it was so thoughtful and appreciated❤️
Profile Image for KrisTina.
871 reviews9 followers
March 8, 2016
Let this be a testament to my newly formed book club that I read this book even though I hated it. But I did start watching the movie "Fireproof" starring Kirk Cameron that has somehow turned this "marriage devotional" book into a movie. The movie is so bad that it's good. I want to watch more of it - that's how bad/good it is. And maybe this book isn't bad if you are looking for a marriage devotional book - but I wasn't looking for a marriage devotional book and so . . . . but I can converse about it with book club. Anyway - I would recommend a real-life marriage therapist over this daily devotional book any day.
February 7, 2009
The movie "Fireproof" starring Kirk Cameron is excellent and will help you relationship immensely. It is very anointed and has moved even the toughest guys I know to tears at the end. Very touching and inspirational.

The book that the movie is based on is called "The Love Dare" and it takes a lot of dedication and discipline to do, but, well worth every bit of the effort. I DARE You to try to make it through without blowing it! I dare you!

Sherrie Conkel
http://www.SchoolTimeCafe.com
http://www.yourAVON.com/sconkel
Profile Image for Harley.
9 reviews1 follower
February 14, 2015
This book changed my life! A wonderful lesson in love. I read it in the hope of becoming the best wife to my husband and I got way more out of it than that. The descriptions of love as a choice and a commitment were beautifully portrayed with examples from the Bible. The biggest surprise was that somehow I was left feeling like before reading I mustn't have known the fullness of God's love for me. I have known God loves me for 25 years but something shifted as I read this and the reality hit me of just how great and real God's love is. Read it, it will blow your mind... In a good way.
60 reviews
July 9, 2013
Despite the semi cheesy movie that this book was born out of...this has to be one of the best marriage books we have gone through together. So glad it was recommended to us!
Profile Image for Courtney Lyman.
Author 20 books796 followers
November 25, 2021
Like most books that are covering a broad topic not everything fit my situation, but the things that did were very helpful. I would have liked for there to be more variety in the challenges, but overall it was very helpful to refresh my heart and mind, to refocus on what matters most.
Profile Image for Chris Gamble.
4 reviews
July 28, 2009
I just finished this book today, and thought I'd talk a little about it.

The book The Love Dare was shown on the movie Fireproof. The movie is about a fireman who is struggiling through a failing marriage headed for divorce, when his father hands him a book. The Love Dare. The husband reads the book and takes the journey, finding love, happiness, and unity with his wife. It is a very inspiring and moving...movie. But the book is even more so.

I found this book while at the library. You see, I haven't been reading much of late this summer. Like 10 pages a day...but then I'd get bored. Been reading mostly biographies, which tend to be my favourite genre. But I went to the library to return a few books that I've been constantly renewing with the hope that I'd read them eventually. I knew I wouldn't, so I returned them and figured I'd just take a break of reading. But then I saw The Love Dare, and thought I'd give it a shot. And it turns out all I needed was a change of genre to renew my own love of reading.

The Love Dare is a 40 day journey meant to be read by someone with a failing marriage. Everyday it talks about a certain aspect of Love ("Love is unity," "Love is forgiving," etcetc) and then at the end it gives you a dare to perform for the day. Surprisingly, I am not in a failing marriage, but I am always looking to learn more about Love, and Life, so I was glad to read it.

The only fault I found in this book was the heavy influence on Christianty and God. Such captions as "You cannot know true love without the love of God." simply upset me. I believe the only thing you need to have to know true love is true love. And entire chapters were used just to talk about the correlation of Love and God.

But, besides that, this was a very moving book. It gives you a different outlook on Love and makes you realise just how little you appreciate it, and how to truly appreciate. How to move out of the Deappreciation room in your heart, and instead settle into the Appreciation room. How to act as the "wise farmer" and simply try to make your love grow, instead of trying to constantly change your spouse.

Truly, a great book for anyone in love with Love.
Profile Image for Irene Maciá.
Author 11 books74 followers
November 21, 2019
Un devocional de 40 días muy recomendable para las parejas que estén atravesando graves crisis en su relación y a punto de la ruptura. Te ayuda a acercarte a Dios a través del cónyuge y a comprender aún más el amor que Jesucristo entregó por nosotros, además de entender en qué consiste el verdadero amor y el esfuerzo que se ha de poner en él para que una pareja funcione. Por supuesto, también recomiendo la película "Prueba de fuego", en donde aparece este libro y que me empujó en mi conversión definitiva a la fe.
Profile Image for Paul Liburd.
Author 1 book3 followers
February 25, 2014
My wife and I, watched the movie ‘Fireproof’ which accompanied this book, I then purchased the book without telling her and began reading it and following the 40 day challenge. The daily challenges required much discipline and holding my tongue, especially when I wanted to vent or complain. By day 25 I began to feel like a different person. I was calmer and more in control of my emotions and I actually felt happier and more content with my marriage and my life. On day 30, my wife exclaimed that I had changed. When I enquired as to the nature of the change, she said that I had become really nice. I had mixed feelings about that answer. Did that mean I was not nice before? I asked myself, or perhaps I had just become nicer. All in all a paradigm shifting experience and well worth a careful contemplative read.
Profile Image for Patricia.
385 reviews46 followers
October 24, 2016
I finished reading "The Love Dare," but this does not mean I followed instructions. This book is meant to be a 40 day plan for a husband and wife to take on a dare, a covenant to read, respond, journal, and put into practice with the goal of rekindling love and marriage. Since I embarked on reading this solo, on a Kindle, I did not fill out the journal entries or take the suggested actions. I wanted to read the book myself and form a conclusion as to whether it was well-written or likely to succeed. I would say that it has great potential if used as directed. I don't know of any friends or relatives that have successfully employed "The Love Dare." I would like to hear from anyone who has. It seems that by putting these 40 days worth of dares into actions, hearts would certainly be touched and/or opened, especially if both partners were willing to commit daily to such a plan.
Profile Image for Rose.
12 reviews
October 23, 2014
I read this because I loved the movie and I know this is a great tool for improving one's marriage. I first heard about it from a couple who used this to get past some really hard times and fix their marriage; it worked for them and it can work for you! It will not fix all marriages and it may be very difficult since one person has to take the dare and meet the challeges, but it can help rekindle a marriage and draw a couple closer to eachother and God. I would also recommend this to all couples whether they are on the ups or the downs of their marriage because we all face problems and this book has some great advice for being appreciative of God and your spouse who helps you get through life's burdens.
Profile Image for Bryant Cornett.
Author 2 books22 followers
October 21, 2013
This book woke me up.

It's designed to be given to a friend that's contemplating divorce (I wasn't) and asking them if they will commit to following one instruction a day for 40 days. But our Sunday school class took it and made a curriculum from it that changed my life. I wouldn't suggest it the way we did it--a day's lesson each week took nearly a year to get through it--but there's no question that it opened my eyes to what I was missing and wasting in my marriage.

I've given a number of these out and they're especially powerful to men who love (and need) a step by step process to fix things that are wrong.

I hope you'll love this book like I do.
Profile Image for Teandra Knapp.
Author 2 books6 followers
November 22, 2016
This book is amazing. But let me WARN you....you will be tested in so many ways if you do this book. DON'T QUIT, DON'T STOP, FINISH IT!!!I did this 40 day study hoping to change my spouse and I was changed in the process. I have done this book several times with many women and each time its very challenging but worth it every single time. I get closer to the Lord and to my husband each and every time I do this study. Your marriage doesn't have to be falling apart for this book to benefit your marriage any marriage can and will benefit from one or both spouses doing this study for 40 days. Who doesn't have 40 days just try it, what do you have to lose?
Profile Image for Jorge Criado.
Author 56 books53 followers
April 13, 2018
Un buen libro con recomendaciones prácticas para la vida matrimonial y para entender el amor de una forma real y no como una especie de sentimentalismo absurdo al estilo de lo que hoy se pretende que sea. El amor es elección.
La pega es que, al ser baptista el autor, se pierde muy buenas cosas. Como los sacramentos, sin ir más lejos. O leer la Biblia según la Tradición, ya que uno de los desafíos estaba relacionado, si mal no recuerdo, con la lectura de la Biblia. Al leerlo me daba esa sensación, de que faltaban cosas, de incompletitud.
Sin embargo, eso no hace que deje de ser un gran libro que ha hecho y seguirá haciendo sin duda mucho bien.
Profile Image for Holly.
566 reviews8 followers
April 13, 2010
Finally... I'm finished. I wouldn't have done it any other way though. Reading one chapter a time till I really got it made it an amazing read. I haven't read anything that has done for for my marriage or my relationships with my children like this. The thoughtful essays read one at a time gave me strong food for thought, and completing the assignments brought me real joy. I can't recommend it highly enough. I used the scriptures as a jump off point for my scripture study and WOW. I'm sure a sinner. I'm starting on chapter one again.
Profile Image for Jenny Peeples.
69 reviews3 followers
August 24, 2014
I never saw the movie but I did read the book. It talks about how to work on your marriage in a way that would glorify God, however, I thought many of the views in the book weren't necessarily applicable to modern, daily life. I really was turned off by the 5 straight chapters in which the author tried to "save me". Don't get me wrong; there were many parts of the book that I used in my own marriage but I think, as with any self-help book, one should apply only what can benefit them. Every one has different circumstances and advice is best when taken with a grain of salt
Profile Image for Tina Smith.
90 reviews1 follower
June 9, 2017
So far this book is great, it gives examples and dares that you have to try each day for 40 days, ti increase love and undestanding in your relationship, and I am happy to say my hubby is doing it with me, I read it aloud to him the night before and we do the dare the next day. Then it gives you a little area to write if during the day you felt like breaking the dare. It's really interesting so far.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 624 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.