What do you think?
Rate this book
A Praying Life: Connecting With God In A Distracting World
Author Paul Miller shares his insights and conclusions about how to connect the broken pieces of your life and allow prayer—even poorly delivered—to fill the gaps with meaning and substance. Miller’s down-to-earth approach and practical nature will help you see that your relationship with God can grow and your communication with Him can get better. Parents will find Miller’s family-life experiences especially helpful.
277 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,452 reviews
July 18, 2013
I am very ambivalent about this book. While there are parts that I really enjoyed, there are other parts that really annoyed me.
I enjoyed learning about the author's autistic daughter Kim. He is very open with the struggles she has faced, and the prayers he has had for her over the years.
The author also says that Jesus' example teaches us that prayer is about relationship. When Jesus prays, he is not performing a duty; he is getting close to his Father.
Yet then the author goes on to make it seem as though prayer is hard, and even makes it out to be work. He talks about creating prayer cards to flip through every time you pray, focusing on all the individuals close to you, cards for areas of your life you want to improve, and cards for friends and non-believers, and to pray the prayers on these cards over and over. Or if you don't want to do cards he says to create a prayer journal along the same idea. He believes that if we don't write down our prayer requests, we don't take prayer seriously. Seriously?
Then the author goes on to describe a summary of a typical morning of prayer for him. This summary included setting his alarm for five forty to get up to pray, then sleeping through the alarm for five minutes, than crawling out of bed, getting dressed, and going down to a living room chair to pray through his cards. Then, as soon as he sat down, his autistic daughter began to pace upstairs, so she had to yell at her to go back to bed. Then he prayed through his cards, then his daughter started pacing again, so he yelled at her again to go back to bed, then he prayed more through his cards. Then he was again interrupted by his autistic daughter pacing upstairs, so he stopped praying, went upstairs (since yelling at her wasn't working) and told her to stay in bed. This made her so angry she bit her arm. Then he threatened to take away privileges for the day, which made her bite her arm again. After she calmed down, he went back to his praying.
The author apparently wrote about the interruptions from his autistic daughter to show that prayer time may not be perfect. Yet the whole time I was reading his prayer scenario, all I could think was "This is not how prayer is supposed to be" and "This is not what God would want for prayer time". I wanted to tell him "Put down your cards, and go comfort and deal with your daughter." I don't understand why he felt he had to set an alarm (which he wanted to sleep through) to pray. Pray in your own bed. Comfort your daughter, lay down with her if you want her to stay in bed, and pray while laying in bed with her. Pray in the shower. Pray while driving. Pray while going for a walk. Why make prayer a chore? Why yell at and neglect your family because they are interrupting your prayer time? I just didn't get it.
Yet this book has excellent reviews and a very high average rating here on Goodreads, so maybe I am missing his point. Or maybe his idea of praying and my idea of praying just don't match.
I enjoyed learning about the author's autistic daughter Kim. He is very open with the struggles she has faced, and the prayers he has had for her over the years.
The author also says that Jesus' example teaches us that prayer is about relationship. When Jesus prays, he is not performing a duty; he is getting close to his Father.
Yet then the author goes on to make it seem as though prayer is hard, and even makes it out to be work. He talks about creating prayer cards to flip through every time you pray, focusing on all the individuals close to you, cards for areas of your life you want to improve, and cards for friends and non-believers, and to pray the prayers on these cards over and over. Or if you don't want to do cards he says to create a prayer journal along the same idea. He believes that if we don't write down our prayer requests, we don't take prayer seriously. Seriously?
Then the author goes on to describe a summary of a typical morning of prayer for him. This summary included setting his alarm for five forty to get up to pray, then sleeping through the alarm for five minutes, than crawling out of bed, getting dressed, and going down to a living room chair to pray through his cards. Then, as soon as he sat down, his autistic daughter began to pace upstairs, so she had to yell at her to go back to bed. Then he prayed through his cards, then his daughter started pacing again, so he yelled at her again to go back to bed, then he prayed more through his cards. Then he was again interrupted by his autistic daughter pacing upstairs, so he stopped praying, went upstairs (since yelling at her wasn't working) and told her to stay in bed. This made her so angry she bit her arm. Then he threatened to take away privileges for the day, which made her bite her arm again. After she calmed down, he went back to his praying.
The author apparently wrote about the interruptions from his autistic daughter to show that prayer time may not be perfect. Yet the whole time I was reading his prayer scenario, all I could think was "This is not how prayer is supposed to be" and "This is not what God would want for prayer time". I wanted to tell him "Put down your cards, and go comfort and deal with your daughter." I don't understand why he felt he had to set an alarm (which he wanted to sleep through) to pray. Pray in your own bed. Comfort your daughter, lay down with her if you want her to stay in bed, and pray while laying in bed with her. Pray in the shower. Pray while driving. Pray while going for a walk. Why make prayer a chore? Why yell at and neglect your family because they are interrupting your prayer time? I just didn't get it.
Yet this book has excellent reviews and a very high average rating here on Goodreads, so maybe I am missing his point. Or maybe his idea of praying and my idea of praying just don't match.
May 13, 2011
I bought "A Praying Life" over a year ago. . . I respect the author and after the recommendations from a good friend and my pastor, I knew it was a "must read." But. . . I picked it up, put it down. . . picked it up, put it down. . . I even bought it for my mother-in-law, and still hadn't read it.
Now, over a year later, I finally read it. (The first book to be read on my birthday kindle!) And. . . wow. . . just what I needed at this point in my life. Unpretentious, Gospel-focused, practical. . . I have been encouraged and inspired to pray, not guilted to pray.
I've felt the need to be on my knees more lately. It seems as each year passes, I feel the need is greater. My children are getting older. I know how praying made a difference in the moment-by-moment of motherhood when they were younger, but now I feel a greater need to parent-through-prayer.
While this isn't the best summary of the book, I want to encourage other Believers to get the book and. . . in the right time, read it. Let the Lord use it as a tool in your life to redirect you to Himself.
Now, over a year later, I finally read it. (The first book to be read on my birthday kindle!) And. . . wow. . . just what I needed at this point in my life. Unpretentious, Gospel-focused, practical. . . I have been encouraged and inspired to pray, not guilted to pray.
I've felt the need to be on my knees more lately. It seems as each year passes, I feel the need is greater. My children are getting older. I know how praying made a difference in the moment-by-moment of motherhood when they were younger, but now I feel a greater need to parent-through-prayer.
While this isn't the best summary of the book, I want to encourage other Believers to get the book and. . . in the right time, read it. Let the Lord use it as a tool in your life to redirect you to Himself.
June 28, 2010
I wish I had read this book 30 years ago so that by now I would have re-read it several times. As faithful as I have tried to be to my spiritual habits, personal prayer has often eluded me and felt dry and mechanical. I've read books about it and talked to friends about it, but there was always a disconnect between the idea of prayer (and now I realize my misconceptions about prayer) and the reality of a regular prayer life. Paul Miller's gift in this book is to bring prayer into the realm of a real person's real life by lifting the burden of legalism and formulas and the notion that there's a right way to pray and a wrong way to pray. That's like telling a child he can only talk to his parent in one way or the parent will ignore him!
Here are some of my take-aways from this book:
1) I need to talk to God in the same way and with the same attitude I would use in speaking to a trusted friend or loved one.
2) I need to stop worrying about whether I've carved out the proper prayer time or quiet time and just start talking to God whenever or wherever it occurs to me."Prayer is meant to be the conversation where your life and your God meet." "Talking life over with this on-scene God is the sort of conversation worth calling 'prayer.'"
3) I need to stop categorizing the things that are worthy--or not worthy--of prayer and remember that God cares about every aspect of my life. If it matters to me, it matters to Him.
4)Meaningful prayer is not achieved by focusing on prayer itself but on God. "In prayer, focusing on the conversation is like trying to drive while looking at the windshield instead of through it."
5) Prayer is not an isolated part of life. "Many people's frustrations with prayer come from working on prayer as a discipline in the abstract."
6) Prayer is not supposed to take us out of the world. Prayer is a tool for connecting with God in the midst of our life's craziness. My favorite quote from the whole book is this: "Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. In the midst of outer busyness, we can develop an inner quiet."
Now that is a goal worth praying for!
Here are some of my take-aways from this book:
1) I need to talk to God in the same way and with the same attitude I would use in speaking to a trusted friend or loved one.
2) I need to stop worrying about whether I've carved out the proper prayer time or quiet time and just start talking to God whenever or wherever it occurs to me."Prayer is meant to be the conversation where your life and your God meet." "Talking life over with this on-scene God is the sort of conversation worth calling 'prayer.'"
3) I need to stop categorizing the things that are worthy--or not worthy--of prayer and remember that God cares about every aspect of my life. If it matters to me, it matters to Him.
4)Meaningful prayer is not achieved by focusing on prayer itself but on God. "In prayer, focusing on the conversation is like trying to drive while looking at the windshield instead of through it."
5) Prayer is not an isolated part of life. "Many people's frustrations with prayer come from working on prayer as a discipline in the abstract."
6) Prayer is not supposed to take us out of the world. Prayer is a tool for connecting with God in the midst of our life's craziness. My favorite quote from the whole book is this: "Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. In the midst of outer busyness, we can develop an inner quiet."
Now that is a goal worth praying for!
May 14, 2021
Perfect devotional read with an honest take on what talking to God looks like. Very encouraging, sometimes odd, but a genuinely great book on prayer. I appreciate the whole Miller family and their books.
April 28, 2023
If I could give this book more than five stars I would!
August 21, 2012
If I could give this book six stars I would. Maybe it was simply the right book for the right time in my life, but Paul Miller's insights into having a praying life are profound. He simplifies prayer to the point of extreme accessibility while simultaneously raising ones understanding and faith in a big, sovereign God. There isn't a Christian in the world who wouldn't benefit in some way from this book.
February 8, 2012
I'm somewhat ambivalent about this book. Partly because many raving reviews led to high expectations on my part and partly because this is an odd book. The phrase that kept coming to my mind while I read it was "A Praying Memoir" for that's what it felt like. Though perhaps more often than necessary, Miller gave dozens of personal stories that gave the book a helpful, earthy feel. I appreciate the author's grittiness and willingness to take all the frustrations of a praying life seriously. The book was a strange mixture of really helpful thoughts followed by too many antidotes and personal details. I can however, see how this would appeal to some readers.
Using the Lord's prayer in the Garden as the primary model, Miller's treatment of Biblical teaching on prayer was very sparse and thus widely assumed. This is not to say that he did not have some helpful observations, just that this work lacked a Biblical treatment of prayer. His focus was much more on how to fit that practically into life. It should also be noted that there are several places where it is evident that Miller has been influenced by the Mystics. His mystic streaks detract some from the value of this work.
The most helpful parts of the book to me included his thoughts on what it means to become like a child in prayer, praying 'in God's story,' and his prayer card system.
While reading "A Praying Life," I simultaneously read C.S. Lewis' "Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer" Though I wasn't expecting many similarities, these books couldn't be more different. Lewis' thoughts were, as one might expect, much more philosophical as Lewis tried to grapple with the many extravagant promises regarding prayer in the Scriptures. Lewis seemed unable to come away with many conclusions. This reminded me that the current corpus of literature has a massive gap regarding the subject of prayer. This makes me judge Miller's effort more positively because prayer is quite mysterious. There is something good to be said for Miller's admirable attempts to, in spite of many unresolved mysteries, provide us a gritty memoir of how to pray. Notwithstanding this commendable effort, may I suggest that the reception of this book suggests that the church needs to do a whole lot more thinking (& writing) on the subject of prayer?
If you are looking for a deeply intimate, highly practical treatment of how to incorporate prayer into your life, this may be helpful to you.
Using the Lord's prayer in the Garden as the primary model, Miller's treatment of Biblical teaching on prayer was very sparse and thus widely assumed. This is not to say that he did not have some helpful observations, just that this work lacked a Biblical treatment of prayer. His focus was much more on how to fit that practically into life. It should also be noted that there are several places where it is evident that Miller has been influenced by the Mystics. His mystic streaks detract some from the value of this work.
The most helpful parts of the book to me included his thoughts on what it means to become like a child in prayer, praying 'in God's story,' and his prayer card system.
While reading "A Praying Life," I simultaneously read C.S. Lewis' "Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer" Though I wasn't expecting many similarities, these books couldn't be more different. Lewis' thoughts were, as one might expect, much more philosophical as Lewis tried to grapple with the many extravagant promises regarding prayer in the Scriptures. Lewis seemed unable to come away with many conclusions. This reminded me that the current corpus of literature has a massive gap regarding the subject of prayer. This makes me judge Miller's effort more positively because prayer is quite mysterious. There is something good to be said for Miller's admirable attempts to, in spite of many unresolved mysteries, provide us a gritty memoir of how to pray. Notwithstanding this commendable effort, may I suggest that the reception of this book suggests that the church needs to do a whole lot more thinking (& writing) on the subject of prayer?
If you are looking for a deeply intimate, highly practical treatment of how to incorporate prayer into your life, this may be helpful to you.
August 1, 2020
"Without the Good Shepherd, we are alone in a meaningless story. Weariness and fear leave us feeling overwhelmed, unable to move. Cynicism leaves us doubting, unable to dream. The combination shuts down our hearts, and we just show up for life, going through the motions.”
....
“Prayer is asking God to incarnate, to get dirty in your life. Yes, the eternal God scrubs floors. For sure we know he washes feet. So take Jesus at his word. Ask him. Tell him what you want. Get dirty. Write out your prayer requests; don't mindlessly drift through life on the American narcotic of busyness. If you try to seize the day, the day will eventually break you. Seize the corner of his garment and don't let go until he blesses you. He will reshape the day.”
....
“We don't know how bad we are until we try to be good. Nothing exposes our selfishness and spiritual pwerlessness like prayer.”
And so many other good quotes. I actually need to buy this book since I was lent a copy. I could have marked the whole thing. It was an authentic, humble, refreshing look at prayer and prayer life. Practical ways to improve and start doing better. Humble stories of the author's own life that led him to write this. I was constantly reminded that through prayer is how we see God's constant weaving of our lives. His constant direction.
....
“Prayer is asking God to incarnate, to get dirty in your life. Yes, the eternal God scrubs floors. For sure we know he washes feet. So take Jesus at his word. Ask him. Tell him what you want. Get dirty. Write out your prayer requests; don't mindlessly drift through life on the American narcotic of busyness. If you try to seize the day, the day will eventually break you. Seize the corner of his garment and don't let go until he blesses you. He will reshape the day.”
....
“We don't know how bad we are until we try to be good. Nothing exposes our selfishness and spiritual pwerlessness like prayer.”
And so many other good quotes. I actually need to buy this book since I was lent a copy. I could have marked the whole thing. It was an authentic, humble, refreshing look at prayer and prayer life. Practical ways to improve and start doing better. Humble stories of the author's own life that led him to write this. I was constantly reminded that through prayer is how we see God's constant weaving of our lives. His constant direction.
November 11, 2022
This gets 5 stars because of how it made me think and feel about prayer, and the visible impact it has already had on my day to day life.
His anecdotes don't stop, and sometimes feel invasive, but everything he has to say is worth hearing.
Would strongly recommend!
His anecdotes don't stop, and sometimes feel invasive, but everything he has to say is worth hearing.
Would strongly recommend!
February 19, 2017
As a lifelong Christian, I've heard a great deal of teaching about prayer and read a good many books on the topic. I've been taught to model my prayers on The Lord's Prayer. I've learned the ACTS method (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication). I've been encouraged to trust God for impossible answers, and above all, I've been made very aware of my spiritual shortcomings with regard to the discipline of regular, personal prayer.
Like many, I have tended to view prayer as a spiritual discipline I need to accomplish. So I try harder to do this prayer thing -- this spiritual event accompanied by certain kinds of emotions and feelings. When I fail, I am overcome with guilt. When I don't pray, I find it hard to start praying again. It seems I just never measure up to my perfect ideal of what my personal praying should be. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed wonderful seasons of prayer. I've had many spiritually high moments in prayer. I've seen God work through my prayers. But I don't have the level of spiritual stamina at praying that I would like.
Given this context, I jumped at the chance to receive Paul Miller's A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World, by NavPress, for free. The specific challenge was to read the book, and post about the results of a personal 30 days of real prayer, implementing the principles from the book in my own prayer life. Thanks again, Michelle Bennett for that challenge. I'm so glad I read this book.
A Praying Life is easily the best book I've read in the past several years. Miller speaks with an uncommon grace, and his book plants the spiritual discipline of prayer squarely upon the truths of the Gospel. A praying life is the goal, not regular disciplined moments of spiritual ecstasy. Miller's book is distinguished from others I've read in that it stresses prayer's connection with the gospel, it explains how a lack of prayer betrays a lack of dependence on God, and it illustrates through Paul Miller's own personal family stories, how prayer connects with all of life. In short, the book makes a praying life seem real, and possible.
I wish I could say after these 30 days, that my prayer life has been completely revolutionized. But after reading the book, I can definitely say my thinking about prayer has. I want to share a few of the principles that came home powerfully to me as I read this book.
First, I was reminded that Jesus invites us to pray. And our prayer is part of a life lived in confidence in the Gospel.
Second, I was challenged to see that when I don't pray, I am basically telling God I'm good enough that I don't really need him. Ouch! This point has really revolutionized how I think about prayer. I have more of a desire to pray, even though I'm still not "good enough" at it. Although I'll never really be good enough, still I want to show my dependence on God in praying constantly for specific help.
Third, prayer really is about being helpless. We come to Christ in the gospel as a helpless sinner. We are to have faith like a helpless child. We should pray as helpless Christians. We really do need our Savior's continual help! This last line should get the "duh!" award. But so often we live like we really don't. The more mature we become as Christians, the more aware of our sinfulness and helplessness we should be. And thus we should pray more.
Fourth, I learned that "we don't need self-discipline to pray continuously". Instead "we just need to be poor in spirit".
A big theme of the book is how suffering is often the context where we learn to pray. It grows us and shows us our true need. It helps make prayer important.
Fifth, prayer is not about some special feeling or perfect spiritual experience.
Too often we seek the perfect spiritual state, when we really should just pray to God out of a heart full of need.
Sixth, I learned that prayer changes things. As we pray we should look for ways our prayers are having an effect. We should seek to use prayer to change the hearts of those we love. Our problems and all of life's difficulties can be shaped and met with prayer.
That's the secret of the praying life. It's not your own story, it's God. He becomes the One in control. By prayer we see Him working. By prayer we let Him into our lives.
Seventh, I was given a practical method of prayer which I've begun to adopt. He explains how to have a prayer card -- a 3.5" notecard -- for each major area in life that you pray about. Have one for each of the members of your family and pray a specific verse for them. Add individual requests to the card over time. Keep track of answers to prayer. I've slowly begun to create cards and I find them easier to use than a prayer list. It's more personal and focused on the subject or person at hand.
I've only scratched the surface of what is contained in the book. It is very readable, because Paul Miller interweaves personal stories of his children and life together with various prayers he has. He shows how prayer helped him deal with situations and persons. How prayer was answered slowly over time in the lives of his children. How prayer allowed him to parent well, and love others rather than react negatively.
I'm confident that if you pick up A Praying Life, your prayer life will improve as well. May God challenge us all to have praying lives.
Like many, I have tended to view prayer as a spiritual discipline I need to accomplish. So I try harder to do this prayer thing -- this spiritual event accompanied by certain kinds of emotions and feelings. When I fail, I am overcome with guilt. When I don't pray, I find it hard to start praying again. It seems I just never measure up to my perfect ideal of what my personal praying should be. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed wonderful seasons of prayer. I've had many spiritually high moments in prayer. I've seen God work through my prayers. But I don't have the level of spiritual stamina at praying that I would like.
Given this context, I jumped at the chance to receive Paul Miller's A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World, by NavPress, for free. The specific challenge was to read the book, and post about the results of a personal 30 days of real prayer, implementing the principles from the book in my own prayer life. Thanks again, Michelle Bennett for that challenge. I'm so glad I read this book.
A Praying Life is easily the best book I've read in the past several years. Miller speaks with an uncommon grace, and his book plants the spiritual discipline of prayer squarely upon the truths of the Gospel. A praying life is the goal, not regular disciplined moments of spiritual ecstasy. Miller's book is distinguished from others I've read in that it stresses prayer's connection with the gospel, it explains how a lack of prayer betrays a lack of dependence on God, and it illustrates through Paul Miller's own personal family stories, how prayer connects with all of life. In short, the book makes a praying life seem real, and possible.
I wish I could say after these 30 days, that my prayer life has been completely revolutionized. But after reading the book, I can definitely say my thinking about prayer has. I want to share a few of the principles that came home powerfully to me as I read this book.
First, I was reminded that Jesus invites us to pray. And our prayer is part of a life lived in confidence in the Gospel.
Jesus does not say, “Come to me, all you who have learned how to concentrate in prayer, whose minds no longer wander, and I will give you rest.” No, Jesus opens his arms to his needy children and says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28, NASB). The criteria for coming to Jesus is weariness. Come overwhelmed with life. Come with your wandering mind. Come messy....
We know that to become a Christian we shouldn’t try to fix ourselves up, but when it comes to praying we completely forget that. We’ll sing the old gospel hymn, “Just as I Am,” but when it comes to praying, we don’t come just as we are. We try, like adults, to fix ourselves up.
Private, personal prayer is one of the last great bastions of legalism. In order to pray like a child, you might need to unlearn the nonpersonal, nonreal praying that you’ve been taught. (pg. 29-30)
Prayer mirrors the gospel. In the gospel, the Father takes us as we are because of Jesus and gives us his gift of salvation. In prayer, the Father receives us as we are because of Jesus and gives us his gift of help. We look at the inadequacy of our praying and give up, thinking something is wrong with us. God looks at the adequacy of his Son and delights in our sloppy, meandering prayers. (pg. 53-54)
Second, I was challenged to see that when I don't pray, I am basically telling God I'm good enough that I don't really need him. Ouch! This point has really revolutionized how I think about prayer. I have more of a desire to pray, even though I'm still not "good enough" at it. Although I'll never really be good enough, still I want to show my dependence on God in praying constantly for specific help.
If you are not praying, then you are quietly confident that time, money, and talent are all you need in life. You’ll always be a little too tired, a little too busy. But if, like Jesus, you realize you can’t do life on your own, then no matter how busy, no matter how tired you are, you will find the time to pray. Time in prayer makes you even more dependent on God because you don’t have as much time to get things done. Every minute spent in prayer is one less minute where you can be doing something “productive.” So the act of praying means that you have to rely more on God. (pg. 47)
Third, prayer really is about being helpless. We come to Christ in the gospel as a helpless sinner. We are to have faith like a helpless child. We should pray as helpless Christians. We really do need our Savior's continual help! This last line should get the "duh!" award. But so often we live like we really don't. The more mature we become as Christians, the more aware of our sinfulness and helplessness we should be. And thus we should pray more.
Fourth, I learned that "we don't need self-discipline to pray continuously". Instead "we just need to be poor in spirit".
Poverty of spirit makes room for his Spirit. It creates a God-shaped hole in our hearts and offers us a new way to relate to others. (pg. 64)
If we think we can do life on our own, we will not take prayer seriously. Our failure to pray will always feel like something else — a lack of discipline or too many obligations. But when something is important to us, we make room for it. Prayer is simply not important to many Christians because Jesus is already an add-on. (pg. 57)
A big theme of the book is how suffering is often the context where we learn to pray. It grows us and shows us our true need. It helps make prayer important.
Fifth, prayer is not about some special feeling or perfect spiritual experience.
Instead of hunting for the perfect spiritual state to lift you above the chaos, pray in the chaos. As your heart or your circumstances generate problems, keep generating prayer. You will find that the chaos lessens. (pg. 72)
Too often we seek the perfect spiritual state, when we really should just pray to God out of a heart full of need.
Sixth, I learned that prayer changes things. As we pray we should look for ways our prayers are having an effect. We should seek to use prayer to change the hearts of those we love. Our problems and all of life's difficulties can be shaped and met with prayer.
When you stop trying to control your life and instead allow your anxieties and problems to bring you to God in prayer, you shift from worry to watching. You watch God weave his patterns in the story of your life. Instead of trying to be out front, designing your life, you realize you are inside God’s drama. (pg. 72)
That's the secret of the praying life. It's not your own story, it's God. He becomes the One in control. By prayer we see Him working. By prayer we let Him into our lives.
Seventh, I was given a practical method of prayer which I've begun to adopt. He explains how to have a prayer card -- a 3.5" notecard -- for each major area in life that you pray about. Have one for each of the members of your family and pray a specific verse for them. Add individual requests to the card over time. Keep track of answers to prayer. I've slowly begun to create cards and I find them easier to use than a prayer list. It's more personal and focused on the subject or person at hand.
I've only scratched the surface of what is contained in the book. It is very readable, because Paul Miller interweaves personal stories of his children and life together with various prayers he has. He shows how prayer helped him deal with situations and persons. How prayer was answered slowly over time in the lives of his children. How prayer allowed him to parent well, and love others rather than react negatively.
I'm confident that if you pick up A Praying Life, your prayer life will improve as well. May God challenge us all to have praying lives.
February 10, 2024
Helpful for thinking about prayer and encouraging continual prayer. Pray to God like a child, in our weakness, as our real selves (not our ideal selves, or who we wish we were, but our real selves with our real weakness and real desires). Good examples with his daughter and family.
Also he argues that we are to do more than to just know God - part of honest prayer is bringing your real desires to God. He argues that removing that aspect of prayer is done because we have no hope - we think God doesn't actually care about us, or that he won't actually change anything. And so instead of disappointing ourselves, or creating a situation where our faith itself is challenged, we just don't pray for some things. Not that we will get everything we pray for, but his argument is more just that we should hope in God and trust him enough to pray in all things, even the painful or the impossible.
Also he argues that we are to do more than to just know God - part of honest prayer is bringing your real desires to God. He argues that removing that aspect of prayer is done because we have no hope - we think God doesn't actually care about us, or that he won't actually change anything. And so instead of disappointing ourselves, or creating a situation where our faith itself is challenged, we just don't pray for some things. Not that we will get everything we pray for, but his argument is more just that we should hope in God and trust him enough to pray in all things, even the painful or the impossible.
January 19, 2023
I bet you never thought you’d get this book back @alexbetts, well consider it housed. Changed the way I view prayer. Definitely recommend
February 1, 2020
Unspeakably good. This book really grew with me every time I returned to the content.
I first was exposed to Miller and his message about prayer at a conference in my local community. I thought that it was the speaker's book, and so I came to the book with a very different set of expectations. I also have always struggled with the idea of a "personal relationship with God," since for me people speaking and responding to me is the main way I connect with them, and God does not normally do that. That and the characteristics of the speaker made me avoid this book. I probably have never made a bigger mistake.
I came to it a second time some years later, and was more sympathetic, having experienced a little more life experience. I also may have read Lindsey Tollefson's Psalms for Trials book, which is just fantastic and covers a lot of the same ideas (don't feel that your prayers are too small for God, trials are designed to make you depend on Him more, be regular and don't be ashamed because you have not been regular lately).
I got the book for Christmas one year and, after a year-long break, I finally hesitated back and forth and finally decided to dip into it. I love it now. The author is FAR from naive, but his basic point is that you need to be like a child. You need to regularly just present whatever you are feeling before God. There's more lessons, but that's step one. Because that's the theme, you can't dislike whatever he says.
But this time around I liked almost everything. He would talk about handling criticism, praying for other people without trying to "fix" them, unanswered prayers after long waiting, and all sorts of helpful wisdom. It also was a huge ethos boost that he was a dad with a child with a disability, which meant that he knew exactly what distraction is for families. He also lost his daughter to cancer and doesn't offer easy answers; but he knows who the answer is. There is no false spirituality. He even threaded the problems of charismatic idolization of intuition and he had a very sound way for parsing how to hear the voice of God. I am not sure I buy it completely, but I am aware that perhaps this is the result of cynicism (another theme he tears to pieces in a helpful way, while emphasizing we must be wise).
Despite being very child-like, he pops out odd-balls of wisdom like these, "Neoplatonism seeped into the church, equating spirituality with a suppression of desire and emotion. That's why Jesus comes across in so many films a bit strange and effeminate. He walks slowly, talks slowly, and moves slowly. You want to put a pin in him." Ouch!
And this: "The simplicity and clarity of God's word ... keeps me from getting lost in my feelings.... I wonder if the 'dark night of the soul' that many mystics experience is just getting lost in the darkness of their hearts." I laughed at that.
So this proved to be one of my favorite books. I won't be starting a prayer journal or a paper list (I prefer my cell-phone, which I can whip out of my pocket at any time), but this book encouraged me to pray. Indeed, one of my favorite points is that he says that ACTS is great (look it up), but you need to remember not all your conversations with God should be according to a schedule. Keep some of it freed up. Buy this book or let me lend it to you.
I first was exposed to Miller and his message about prayer at a conference in my local community. I thought that it was the speaker's book, and so I came to the book with a very different set of expectations. I also have always struggled with the idea of a "personal relationship with God," since for me people speaking and responding to me is the main way I connect with them, and God does not normally do that. That and the characteristics of the speaker made me avoid this book. I probably have never made a bigger mistake.
I came to it a second time some years later, and was more sympathetic, having experienced a little more life experience. I also may have read Lindsey Tollefson's Psalms for Trials book, which is just fantastic and covers a lot of the same ideas (don't feel that your prayers are too small for God, trials are designed to make you depend on Him more, be regular and don't be ashamed because you have not been regular lately).
I got the book for Christmas one year and, after a year-long break, I finally hesitated back and forth and finally decided to dip into it. I love it now. The author is FAR from naive, but his basic point is that you need to be like a child. You need to regularly just present whatever you are feeling before God. There's more lessons, but that's step one. Because that's the theme, you can't dislike whatever he says.
But this time around I liked almost everything. He would talk about handling criticism, praying for other people without trying to "fix" them, unanswered prayers after long waiting, and all sorts of helpful wisdom. It also was a huge ethos boost that he was a dad with a child with a disability, which meant that he knew exactly what distraction is for families. He also lost his daughter to cancer and doesn't offer easy answers; but he knows who the answer is. There is no false spirituality. He even threaded the problems of charismatic idolization of intuition and he had a very sound way for parsing how to hear the voice of God. I am not sure I buy it completely, but I am aware that perhaps this is the result of cynicism (another theme he tears to pieces in a helpful way, while emphasizing we must be wise).
Despite being very child-like, he pops out odd-balls of wisdom like these, "Neoplatonism seeped into the church, equating spirituality with a suppression of desire and emotion. That's why Jesus comes across in so many films a bit strange and effeminate. He walks slowly, talks slowly, and moves slowly. You want to put a pin in him." Ouch!
And this: "The simplicity and clarity of God's word ... keeps me from getting lost in my feelings.... I wonder if the 'dark night of the soul' that many mystics experience is just getting lost in the darkness of their hearts." I laughed at that.
So this proved to be one of my favorite books. I won't be starting a prayer journal or a paper list (I prefer my cell-phone, which I can whip out of my pocket at any time), but this book encouraged me to pray. Indeed, one of my favorite points is that he says that ACTS is great (look it up), but you need to remember not all your conversations with God should be according to a schedule. Keep some of it freed up. Buy this book or let me lend it to you.
April 6, 2019
This book had some 3 star moments as well as a few 5. I loved the chapter on lamenting in prayer and I will be using some of the practical suggestions immediately. Overall a very encouraging book to integrate prayer into the very fabric of our lives.
May 29, 2023
A sweet, practical, and Biblical insight and guide to prayer - communing with God, finding authenticity through honest words, and learning to hope again.
January 22, 2023
Lately, God’s been pushing me to (re)discover the power of prayer. I’ve been finding myself subconsciously believing in prayer less and consequently, denying His means of grace in my life. As I reflected on this dry season, I decided to pick up this book before diving deep into ministry again. This book was recommended by a few of my close friends and I must say, it is very accurate in assessing my heart and powerful in convicting me to pursue the heart of the Father in prayer.
This book is filled with personal anecdotes from Paul Miller and very practical advice in how to conduct a prayerful life. Looking at his experiences, the childlike heart he preaches about in Part 1 is evident in his own life and deeply encouraging for me. Many may consider someone like him to be passive and naïve. But like he said, utter dependence in the LORD is critical to the walk of a christian.
Along with his experiences, he shares his own analyses of a modern-day christian’s experience with prayer. I particularly liked his chapters on cynicism and on the nuances of living in the Word and by the Spirit. I find much of what he writes to be very relatable and precise, like a good doctor’s diagnosis. He also gives practical tips and methods to apply what he teaches to our daily lives.
Overall, the book is very easy to read and deeply convicting. I knocked off one point because I found his sections on unanswered prayers to be a bit lacking. Other than that, I highly recommend all to read this and apply his teachings to their daily prayer lives. Thank you LORD for speaking to me through this book!
This book is filled with personal anecdotes from Paul Miller and very practical advice in how to conduct a prayerful life. Looking at his experiences, the childlike heart he preaches about in Part 1 is evident in his own life and deeply encouraging for me. Many may consider someone like him to be passive and naïve. But like he said, utter dependence in the LORD is critical to the walk of a christian.
Along with his experiences, he shares his own analyses of a modern-day christian’s experience with prayer. I particularly liked his chapters on cynicism and on the nuances of living in the Word and by the Spirit. I find much of what he writes to be very relatable and precise, like a good doctor’s diagnosis. He also gives practical tips and methods to apply what he teaches to our daily lives.
Overall, the book is very easy to read and deeply convicting. I knocked off one point because I found his sections on unanswered prayers to be a bit lacking. Other than that, I highly recommend all to read this and apply his teachings to their daily prayer lives. Thank you LORD for speaking to me through this book!
January 15, 2013
After hearing this book referenced in sermons from a few different pastors and friends, I added it to my reading list with modest hopes but not high expectations. I have long desired to grow in my prayer disciplines, but I am also wary of books I perceive to be "self-help" or systematic regarding such disciplines. There is no doubt that pitfalls abound in the genre, but Miller navigates the subject with wisdom and humility. As for me, I found my skepticism conquered by Miller's sound, sincere, and practical treatment of prayer. Best of all, I found myself refreshed and spurred on to love and good deeds through prayer in ways that I had hoped but never anticipated. This book persuaded me to change several habits in my life while avoiding guilt-tactics or programs bound to fail. I soon found myself joining the chorus of voices recommending this book for its challenging call to recapture one of Christendom's central spiritual disciplines in our own time.
Miller's approach depends on a blend of scriptural examples and personal anecdotes as he helps the reader see his own relation to God in a new light. He powerfully blends truths from the word with his own successes and failures in the practice of prayer, drawing upon years of trial and triumph in his own family. Through his vulnerability he challenges readers to give credit and glory to God for answering the smallest of prayers up to the grandest, both in a moment and over years and years of faithful pleading. Miller invites the reader to consider the way God uses prayer for others to shape and prune us at the same time. He begins with qualifications for approaching God: childlike faith and genuine need. Avoiding overly prescriptive advice, he presents the principles of prayer through reorienting the reader to the nature of God's character, the purpose of prayer, and our own dependency upon Jesus. His own stories of God's powerful work in his family (and especially the way prayer influenced his roles as husband and father) provide powerful testimony to the wisdom and grace of God, much of which takes a long view to see. Through these examples we are invited to look back on the narratives of our own lives for what God has done, and we are given a reason to hope and expect even mightier things in the narrative to come. Miller shows us how prayer opens our eyes to that narrative and magnifies God before our eyes and those of others. Perhaps most importantly, he reminds the reader of the power of using God's own word in prayer, offering back to Him scripture as applied to our own lives and for those for whom we are praying. I have been amazed at the power of this simple suggestion and practice as captured from the spirit of the psalms and other scriptures.
Miller's book resonated with me on a number of levels, dealing with the specific discipline of prayer and seeing our lives in the context of God's narrative for us (and all the world) particularly. I approached this book looking for a way to refresh my ideas of prayer and see if I could latch onto something that would jog me out of my rut. While most of what Miller offers through the book works to get the reader reawakened to the power of God through specific prayer (thus accomplishing the reorientation of the heart), he also provided helpful suggestions for making changes, both practical and attainable. While never presented in the form of legalistic rules, these suggestions nonetheless gave traction around his guiding principles. Since reading this book and following just a few of his suggestions as adapted to my own context, I have been amazed at how God has opened new vistas in this area of my life.
Like many life-changing books, this one may have to come across your desk at just the right moment in order to grip you. Perhaps you are already well-established in prayer. In that case this book may reinforce what you already know (as it often did for me as well). God had been preparing my heart and desires for some time in this topic through my own need and the recommendation of others, and I am grateful for how He used Miller's book. I was ready for help but wary of taking poor advice, trying and failing, or setting up a new legalism. Miller's A Praying Life answered each of those concerns directly (and more) and, through the work of the Holy Spirit, encouraged me with a renewed attitude toward God, His word, and my neighbors in prayer. If you are interested in principles of corporate prayer, you will find this book addresses more the private disciplines, though similar principles may be extended. With a multitude of books to choose from and only so much time to spend, no one wants to read a bad book. For the 21st century Christian in need of a return to the priceless heritage of personal prayer, I couldn't recommend a book more worth your time.
Miller's approach depends on a blend of scriptural examples and personal anecdotes as he helps the reader see his own relation to God in a new light. He powerfully blends truths from the word with his own successes and failures in the practice of prayer, drawing upon years of trial and triumph in his own family. Through his vulnerability he challenges readers to give credit and glory to God for answering the smallest of prayers up to the grandest, both in a moment and over years and years of faithful pleading. Miller invites the reader to consider the way God uses prayer for others to shape and prune us at the same time. He begins with qualifications for approaching God: childlike faith and genuine need. Avoiding overly prescriptive advice, he presents the principles of prayer through reorienting the reader to the nature of God's character, the purpose of prayer, and our own dependency upon Jesus. His own stories of God's powerful work in his family (and especially the way prayer influenced his roles as husband and father) provide powerful testimony to the wisdom and grace of God, much of which takes a long view to see. Through these examples we are invited to look back on the narratives of our own lives for what God has done, and we are given a reason to hope and expect even mightier things in the narrative to come. Miller shows us how prayer opens our eyes to that narrative and magnifies God before our eyes and those of others. Perhaps most importantly, he reminds the reader of the power of using God's own word in prayer, offering back to Him scripture as applied to our own lives and for those for whom we are praying. I have been amazed at the power of this simple suggestion and practice as captured from the spirit of the psalms and other scriptures.
Miller's book resonated with me on a number of levels, dealing with the specific discipline of prayer and seeing our lives in the context of God's narrative for us (and all the world) particularly. I approached this book looking for a way to refresh my ideas of prayer and see if I could latch onto something that would jog me out of my rut. While most of what Miller offers through the book works to get the reader reawakened to the power of God through specific prayer (thus accomplishing the reorientation of the heart), he also provided helpful suggestions for making changes, both practical and attainable. While never presented in the form of legalistic rules, these suggestions nonetheless gave traction around his guiding principles. Since reading this book and following just a few of his suggestions as adapted to my own context, I have been amazed at how God has opened new vistas in this area of my life.
Like many life-changing books, this one may have to come across your desk at just the right moment in order to grip you. Perhaps you are already well-established in prayer. In that case this book may reinforce what you already know (as it often did for me as well). God had been preparing my heart and desires for some time in this topic through my own need and the recommendation of others, and I am grateful for how He used Miller's book. I was ready for help but wary of taking poor advice, trying and failing, or setting up a new legalism. Miller's A Praying Life answered each of those concerns directly (and more) and, through the work of the Holy Spirit, encouraged me with a renewed attitude toward God, His word, and my neighbors in prayer. If you are interested in principles of corporate prayer, you will find this book addresses more the private disciplines, though similar principles may be extended. With a multitude of books to choose from and only so much time to spend, no one wants to read a bad book. For the 21st century Christian in need of a return to the priceless heritage of personal prayer, I couldn't recommend a book more worth your time.
April 27, 2022
Woah- convicting, practical, insightful. A resource I think I will continue to go back to
April 2, 2022
A great book about prayer that covers almost all aspects of it. Some anecdotes seemed off which is why 4 instead of 5 stars. Still a great reminder for an area in which I need to improve. Now to apply what I’ve learned, otherwise why even read the book?
September 7, 2020
When one of my best and most treasured friends, Annie, gave me this book as a gift, I felt conflicted.
I felt grateful because I know Annie doesn’t recommend books lightly. She has both excellent taste and a close attention for the preferences of friends.
I felt disheartened because of the title - A Praying Life. I have a hard enough time with a few minutes of prayer. A praying life? .....okay.... The thing is, I grew up in a Christian home and in a Christian community and prayer has almost always felt like something nice but not necessary. Extra salt on a meal or an umbrella when there’s a slight chance of rain. Combine this disaffection with my ADHD diagnosis and it’s no mystery why I’ve spent little time working on my prayer life.
But Annie gave it to me, so I read it. (And, side note, I love looking back and seeing God work through my friends).
This book is specific, clear, and well organized. It is inescapably relatable and uncomfortably convicting (uncomfortable if you, like me, are more practiced at realizing flaws in others rather than yourself). This book is a reassurance, but it does not condescend. It is a guide, but it is not legalistic.
Most importantly, Miller’s writing demystifies prayer from what can often seem like a vague and/or trite and/or worthless act into the necessary, life-giving, redemptive-centered practice that it is. At the core of prayer, he reveals, is Jesus. The very God who can feel so distant and confusing - he waits for us to come to him in prayer.
I’m not explaining this as well as Miller does. Read the book and get the better version for yourself.
I felt grateful because I know Annie doesn’t recommend books lightly. She has both excellent taste and a close attention for the preferences of friends.
I felt disheartened because of the title - A Praying Life. I have a hard enough time with a few minutes of prayer. A praying life? .....okay.... The thing is, I grew up in a Christian home and in a Christian community and prayer has almost always felt like something nice but not necessary. Extra salt on a meal or an umbrella when there’s a slight chance of rain. Combine this disaffection with my ADHD diagnosis and it’s no mystery why I’ve spent little time working on my prayer life.
But Annie gave it to me, so I read it. (And, side note, I love looking back and seeing God work through my friends).
This book is specific, clear, and well organized. It is inescapably relatable and uncomfortably convicting (uncomfortable if you, like me, are more practiced at realizing flaws in others rather than yourself). This book is a reassurance, but it does not condescend. It is a guide, but it is not legalistic.
Most importantly, Miller’s writing demystifies prayer from what can often seem like a vague and/or trite and/or worthless act into the necessary, life-giving, redemptive-centered practice that it is. At the core of prayer, he reveals, is Jesus. The very God who can feel so distant and confusing - he waits for us to come to him in prayer.
I’m not explaining this as well as Miller does. Read the book and get the better version for yourself.
March 31, 2020
Este es un libro completamente inspirador y retador. Paul Miller verte en cada página su experiencia y vida sencilla de oración. Él fue capaz de escribir lo que muchos no se han atrevido o tan siquiera sospechan respecto a la oración, es relación. Pero no es una relación entre un jefe atroz y un vil servidor. Es una conversación entre un padre y un hijo. Así de genuina debería ser nuestra forma de hablar con Dios.
Además de esto, Paul Miller nos recuerda que la oración puede ser concreta, sincera y funciona para este mundo real. ¡Dios está respondiendo! Pero, ¿Nosotros estamos viendo sus respuestas inesperadas o sólo queremos las cosas a nuestra manera? En un mundo donde la oración se trata de decretar, declarar, arrebatar y no "aceptar un no por respuesta" recordar que Dios es soberano en la respuesta a nuestras oraciones es buenísimo.
Este libro es uno de esos obligatorios en la biblioteca. Pero no para presumirlo, no para empolvarlo, sino para ir a él y reflexionar sobre nuestra oración y por ende, nuestra relación con Dios. Recomendadísimo.
Además de esto, Paul Miller nos recuerda que la oración puede ser concreta, sincera y funciona para este mundo real. ¡Dios está respondiendo! Pero, ¿Nosotros estamos viendo sus respuestas inesperadas o sólo queremos las cosas a nuestra manera? En un mundo donde la oración se trata de decretar, declarar, arrebatar y no "aceptar un no por respuesta" recordar que Dios es soberano en la respuesta a nuestras oraciones es buenísimo.
Este libro es uno de esos obligatorios en la biblioteca. Pero no para presumirlo, no para empolvarlo, sino para ir a él y reflexionar sobre nuestra oración y por ende, nuestra relación con Dios. Recomendadísimo.
September 25, 2021
“Es en la oración donde hago mi mejor trabajo como esposo, papá, empleado y amigo. Estoy consciente de la mala hierba de la incredulidad en mi y de las batallas en la vida de lo demás. El Espíritu Santo señala asuntos que solamente Él puede resolver”. De la página 267, capítulo 31: “La oración en la vida real”.
Fascinante, retador y de mucho ánimo para mi vida cristiana.
Fascinante, retador y de mucho ánimo para mi vida cristiana.
October 9, 2021
4.5⭐
Written in an engaging, conversational way. Very thought provoking. I especially enjoyed the chapter where he talked about how many of us separate our praying life from our daily,mundane life.
Written in an engaging, conversational way. Very thought provoking. I especially enjoyed the chapter where he talked about how many of us separate our praying life from our daily,mundane life.
February 4, 2024
The most helpful, practical, enlightening book on prayer I've ever read. Life changing
March 2, 2023
I loved this book! It was biblically grounded, practical, and full of stories/experience.
Most books on prayer focus on the theology of the act (what is prayer? why is it important? why should we pray? etc...), this book is different. The authors message is - JUST PRAY. Come messy, come broken, come expectant; just come.
I adore the authors honesty and humility as he writes about his struggles with prayer and the journey that led him to take it more seriously in his life. As you read about the barriers we often face in prayer and how to overcome them you begin to realize that a deep relationship with God that is guided by prayer is not impossible. A mature prayer life is attainable.
This is definitely a book that will inspire you to pray more.
Most books on prayer focus on the theology of the act (what is prayer? why is it important? why should we pray? etc...), this book is different. The authors message is - JUST PRAY. Come messy, come broken, come expectant; just come.
I adore the authors honesty and humility as he writes about his struggles with prayer and the journey that led him to take it more seriously in his life. As you read about the barriers we often face in prayer and how to overcome them you begin to realize that a deep relationship with God that is guided by prayer is not impossible. A mature prayer life is attainable.
This is definitely a book that will inspire you to pray more.
November 18, 2022
This book has served to advance my delight in prayer. Miller’s explanation of what it means to approach the Lord with true childlike faith has really relieved so many of the obstacles I faced in my prayer life.
If we are to approach our Father as a child, we ought to come messy, selfish, unorganized, and needy. Only when we have this level of transparency with the Lord are we then able to build a more fruitful relationship with Him. Great book.
If we are to approach our Father as a child, we ought to come messy, selfish, unorganized, and needy. Only when we have this level of transparency with the Lord are we then able to build a more fruitful relationship with Him. Great book.
January 17, 2024
One of the cornerstones of any meaningful relationship is good communication, yet prayer remains one of the great challenges for many Christians. Paul Miller's book encourages the reader to recover a little of the sense of wonder that we can approach God, to jump into a prayer with the freedom and enthusiasm that a kid might bring to a chat with their dad, before giving some concrete suggestions for how to go about things in a thoughtful (but not too mechanistic) way.
November 23, 2022
SO good! A practical, simple, yet deeply impactful book on prayer. Will definitely keep this one nearby to re-read every now and then.
October 22, 2023
This book is so helpful. The first few chapters cut me to the core as it described the reasons we don’t pray, or struggle with prayer. Later chapters are detailed, helping to give practical steps for becoming better at prayer. And all in between are stories about his family and how prayer has been answered. I really needed this book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,452 reviews